Dad, Thanks for making me the person I am!

I know I have not posted in quite some time....I have had many things weighing heavy on my heart. I also, did not feel inspired to write. I know I have mentioned that many times in the past...but it is true. 

Today, I felt touched....inspired...happy....sad.

Ok, So here I go....

Oh, God, I try to be true...so then why Lord am I so blue? My father, my pillar, my grace is gone. He is not in soul, but in brain, and body.

I look back to the day....the day when he knew me....the day we laughed, the day when I was "grounded"...the day when I KNEW, that I knew he probably knew better. He has taught me many life lessons, he was a sympathetic ear when I needed it, he checked me when I needed it.

I know his memory is failing. I hope someplace in there  he knows, that he impacted me.

Does he remember the great advice he gave me when I struggled? Does  he know how special that was? I hope so.

I hate the disease of Altezheismers MORE that the one of addiction. I want him back. I will never get him back. It is hard. It sucks! My mom would hate for me to use that language...sorry, mom...that is how I feel.

I must say, If you love some one say it now!!!!Say it today!!! Say it to all you love. We never know what will happen next. Make sure you love all of your family and friends every day.

Dad I love you....you will probably never see this..or perhaps never understand it....I hope I said it enough!!!

Dad, Thanks for making me the person I am!!!!

I wish!

It has been way too long for me to have blogged. Dealing with much stuff...that is probably why I should have blogged. Enough said.

Star light, star bright, I wish upon the star I see tonight. I have always believed in wishing upon the first star. I still do it. I guess, I just don't share that I do it. I wish I may, I wish I might, get the wish, I wish tonight.

I wish for many things.  World peace...hell home peace. I wish to find out what my purpose in life is. I wish for my kids' to be well and lead a good path. I always wish for joy!

I am not gonna lie it has been a rough few weeks, but today I found joy. My DD has not said, "I love you." in years. She has said it a few times on the phone recently.  That is JOY!

She stopped over tonight. We had a nice chat. On her way out...she was already in the garage...I yelled, "I LOVE YOU." She stopped, and poked her head back in and said, "I love you too."

I felt pretty awesome. Awesome enough, to stop my writer's block, and write.

Thanks my angel girl, ty.