Are You There God?...It's Me...Ann!

I borrow this phrase from Judy Bloom. Any girl my age will know her, and love her. She talked about the things no mother would ever talk about.

I know that I haven't posted in a while. I guess, I know I am going through a bunch of stuff.

Where is the Judy Bloom for our 40's?

Where is our guide book?

HUMMMM?! Maybe, just maybe...I will have to write my own!

God, I need a Bat-Signal!!!!

I have been so struggling the last few weeks.  I sometimes feel so frustrated, so defeated. I try to make a positive impact on so many lives. I seem to know who to embrace, who to help. But, not.


My feelings are all over the place.  I think a large part of that is due to the dreaded menopause. I so wanted a child with my husband...I thought I had time. Sometimes "time" is not your friend.

Or is it?

What do I need to learn from this? Why did it happen this way?

Sadly, I have no answers.

I do believe in GOD. I do believe He has a plan. My husband and I have been trying to mentor some kids that have come into our lives.  I think we have had a positive result...mostly.

I am searching for my purpose. I am looking for my meaning in life.

I need a Bat-Sign!!!! I haven't had one. 

I am just frustrated.  Is is the menopause thing? I don't know. I don't know because both my mom, and my sis had early host's. My sister-in-law that is 8 years older than I...has not either.

I ask for God to lead me...I so need a Bat-Signal.

Thanks For the Comments on My Mentalpause!!!

I know that you cannot all see the great, wonderful, and heartfelt messages I have gotten since my last post. I would love to share them with you, because they were so heplful, and kind to me, but I  can't. I can only share them if the ppl that wrote them are willing.

I must say, now with a tears running down my face....I am grateful to have so many great ppl who have  shared their menopause, early hysterectomy, and many other woman issues with me. A HUGE thanks to you all!!!.

I have received so many e-mails, and private messages on FB, as well as, IM's.

I really know some AWESOME PEOPLE...  I also, have many followers, that I have never met. THEY ALSO HAVE GREAT STORIES, AND WORDS OF HELP!!!!

TY TY TO ALL!!!!

I know "caps" are used for yelling....well I am not yelling, I am SHOUTING, a big thanks to all that have listened, and responded in the last few days!!! TY TY TY TY TY!!!!!

Menopause...A Dirty Word!!!

I think the reason I have not posted in a few weeks is because I found out that I am in full blown menopause. Well, that and greenhouse season...but mostly menopause.

I am a woman of 41, I feel young...I am married to the man of my dreams now. I have two amazing kids from a former marriage. My girl is a freshman in college, my boy is  a Jr. in high school. I was REALLY wanting to have a child with my great husband.

I had my tubes tied (clamped) after the birth of my son...the Jr. When I met my husband I thought we would have time to have it reversed. We went last year to a Dr. and found our it would be 30k. We were not able to do that. It would take paying off several bills, and saving money.

The last time I had my period was during the super bowl. I sported my Green Bay Jersey at the hospital. I was crampy, and a bit cranky. I went with a smile on my face, and joked with those having to be in the hospital. I didn't know that...that,would be my last period.

After having no period...even though my tubes were tied....I was soooooooooooo hoping I was preggers. Hubby, and I so want a child. Well many non-periods later...and many negative tests.... I made a Dr. appointment.

Well, it turns out, that I am rare. I am in full blown menopause at 41.  Guys that read this...I get that you might not understand.

Women, shit I don't know. I felt like I had time. I felt like I am not old enough to worry. I so wanted kids with my husband...this is so very hard for me to understand that my body will NEVER let that happen.

I must say I feel less as a woman not to EVER be able to give a child. I feel less of a woman to face the fact that I have hit this place in life early.

I am not gonna lie, this  is very upsetting to me.

I am not really sure to go with this.

I think that is all I have to say about that.

It Has Been Some Time..

I do apologize, I have not posted in a long time.

I have been through a ton...no, not jail....I found out I am in full blown menopause.

I also have been very busy at the greenhouse.

Today, I am off because of the current rain/storms.

So..I need to commit to doing two things.

1st...clean my house
2nd catch up on blog.

AND JUST SO YA KNOW THERE IS A LOT TO CATCH UP ON.

Once Again, I Have Been Absent.

Why, you ask? I have no good reason. I don't think it is writer's block. I am not sure if it was something that I did not want to talk about, and was trying to avoid.

I have been busy working at the greenhouse....good stories to come later.

Maybe, I was having a hard time with losing my job I loved.

So here I am again. Hold on people, it is always a strange ride. I am writing again.

OSAMA IS DEAD!!! USA,USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OSAMA IS DEAD!!! USA,USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am crying tears of joy, for Osama's death. I cry tears of sadness for the thousands that were lost, under his terrorist attacks. I have never wished for any one's death, except for his. I know as a Christian that I should never wish for things like that. I am also human, and cannot deny that truth.



After seeing the tragedy, and horror first hand, as I was in NYC at the time of the attack, I apologize God, but I am VERY happy about Obama's death.



I also want to recognize all of our troops...for all of their efforts all around the world, especially in the Middle East.



I don't want to be political in anyway, but today I don't care what party you may support...LET'S JUST REJOICE FOR AMERICA!!!



USA, USA, USA, USA, USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



I think that is all I have to say about that.

Posted by Trying2GetIt at 10:50 PM

OSAMA IS DEAD!!! USA,USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am crying tears of joy, for Obama's death. I cry tears of sadness for the thousands that were lost, under his terrorist attacks. I have never wished for any one's death, except for his. I know as a Christian that I should never wish for things like that. I am also human, and cannot deny that truth.

After seeing the tragedy, and horror first hand, as I was in NYC at the time of the attack, I apologize God, but I am VERY happy about Obama's death.

I also want to recognize all of our troops...for all of their efforts all around the world, especially in the Middle East.

I don't want to be political in anyway, but today I don't care what party you may support...LET'S JUST REJOICE FOR AMERICA!!!

USA, USA, USA, USA, USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that is all I have to say about that.