Applesauce!!!!!

Look, I know..I have much to talk about, and I will get back to it. I also did mention, that when a thought worth writing about came into my head, I would stop what I was doing, and write.

So applesauce. I went to visit my very old friend..the one we planted the garden for last year, the one, DH, and I recently spent some time with in the ER, because his house was filled with smoke, and he was un responsive...yes that one. If you are new to the blog go back and read. Anyway, I stopped today for two reasons. I did stop to visit and check on him, but he has something  between who cans, a glory world of jars, or something from that show "Hording, Buried Alive." The other reason is that, I care, and just see to need if he needs anything.

 He also has a friend that stops by on a daily basis...who is 80 years old....a mear 14 years his younger. When I stopped, I noticed his 80 year old's  truck was parked out front.I have often sat and chatted with both. I knocked, I waited. Maybe they were in the potty, the throne...I petted his cat "Buffy", and I waited a few more moments. His friend, and my old buddy just pulled up. His friend had takin him shopping at Walmart for some groceries. As they pulled up, I could tell something was not right. It was a diabetic situation. I ran to the car.He could not walk, he was pretty unresponsive. His buddy, and I one under each arm manuvered our friend to the porch.  Unfortunately, I was the stonger of the two of us, so I  lifted him up every stair. We sat him down,  made him drink a MAJOR glass of juice, and then were able to move him inside. We fed him some more sugar. SO CUTE, some how he perked up when I offered him a Klondike Bar...lol, eh he was comming around a bit at that moment...I hear they are hard to refuse.

The three of us sat and chatted, and his buddy, and I watched him. He came around. I knew he was himself, when he started showing me his drawings. I took his blood at that point, and it was good.

I asked him if I may pick some grapes, and pears to make jam. I pick them from his yard , I make stuff, and give him the result. He said, "SURE!" At that point he started to go to the door...I said, "No, you stay, and rest." He would not have it. I said, "then bring your cane." So he did. It was way too cute.

I kept asking, "Are you OK, are you fine?" He, assured me he was. So we went out to the grapes, and the pear tree....there is also an apple tree (most of the apples have hit the ground), he was a bit upset that the apples were going bad. He ditched his cane in the grapes to deal with the apples on the ground. I said, "Don't worry, we can use these...for pie, or jam, or applesauce." He said, "I would LOVE some applesauce."  I told him I would be happy to make him applesauce (sugar free). At that moment, it was like the scene from "Forest Gump", where the braces fall off his legs as he is running..my friend tossed aside the cane, and was finding the apples below the tree to make applesauce. This is the same man I had to carry into the house an hour earlier.

God, bless him at 94 years young!!!

This holds special meaning to me because, my Grandfather on my father's side (he lived a long happy life) passed away on an afternoon in the early fall .  My Grandmother, asked, if he would like some applesauce. He, said "Yes." Grandma, was in the kitchen making the applesauce from scratch, she would not have it any other way. She went to go give Grandpa his apple sauce, and he had passed in his favorite chair. Grandma, was several years younger, I think, about 15 years. She had a very active life. The night before she passed, she had been out with a girlfriend bought new shoes, and had dinner. She never woke up. They died about 18 months apart form one another. Again, this should not be sad.  OMG, what a super life..to  love, and be loved is really neat! Although, they were years apart, there hearts wanted to be together.

Now, this is not a sad thing for me, or my family. Yes, is it sad to loose anyone, but they loved each other so very much. It hurt, but it was so peaceful. I have no idea if  anyone can understand that.

So applesauce. It will be my first try at it...it is simmering now. I just hope I get it right.

"DID YOU TAKE YOU'RE ANTIBIOTIC?"

OK, so my goals for the day were to get the !@##$$ couponing done, need to vacuum, and first of all blog.  I so far have a kitchen table full of coupons,  adorned with several cats on top of the coupons. I would post a photo, but I don't know how to  get the photos out of my new phone. There is still pet hair that needs to be vacuumed. I am, however, blogging.

I was on the way to the dog park, when my DS, asked to use the car. I said can you wait an hour? AND then I thought, why am I asking. As I drove down our road, I passed by one of the other child's parents that was involved in the "theft ring"... These are parents who know their child messed up, but still got a lawyer(again more on that story to follow) As he drove past me, I wanted to follow him home. I wanted to say that both our kids messed up. I wanted to YELL, "JUST OWN IT"!!!!. I did not  turn around I did not follow him. Instead, I went to my favorite local gas station to get a "Ruby Red" grapefruit juice...my current juice of choice. I will also say it is "Ocean Spray"

With my two dogs in the car, I chose not to go to the dog park. I instead, decided to pick up what looks like half a BBQ'd cow leg, and go home to let the boy use the car.

So what is my thought process in all this you ask? I wonder myself, but I think it goes like this. I did not kill the other kid's dad...good, I did not take the dogs to the park, BUT they are eating half a cow leg I purchased at the gas station, along with my "Ruby Red", I think to both keep them busy, as well the guilt of not going to the dog park.

All of this being true...I also came to the realization, that I still need to get crap done here..like the couponing, and vacuuming. So I let the boy use the car. On his way out I yelled, "Did you take your antibiotic"?

Let's re-cap....shall we?

I feel that this is the best way for me to discuss things. A "list", of sorts if you will?

After the list, I will address item, by item.

So now the list...ug (you must all know at this point I have tears running down my cheek)

I think it is time for intermission....I need a moment.  Feel free to play the radio( or i-pod), watch some T.V., or go to the bathroom for a moment.

In the last 6  weeks, I will list the "stuff" of life. I guess it will be in no particular order...it has been a bit too much to recall the order.

Went home to give mom, a break from dad (who has Alzheimer's)

Brought son with me to hang with g-ma, and g-pa

Son helped with g-pa on golf course...driving the cart...more on that in an earlier post.

Let son go hang with friends the day we got back from "up north"

Son crashed my car the next am...(more to follow)

Son got super sick the day after the crash (I wish, I could say he was "playing" sick, but I could not.) The super enlarged paroited gland was real.

The old dog of 18 years is peeing on herself, and I had to make the choice to put her down. I am so struggling with the playing "GOD" issue to this day.

I get the ashes back, and try to include my ex-husband to be a part of it all...she was his dog too.

Ex-hubby was on vacation with family...so I waited until he got back...all the time looking at the ashes of dog in a box on my mantel.

We moved our daughter out into her first apt. (sniff, sniff).

Found out that that my son was involved in a stealing out of parked cars burglary ring. Not stealing cars, but he stole stuff out of cars I have now pretty much think the detective should stay in our guest room at this point.

My hubby's mom, who has needed heart work,  almost passed out at the local diner she goes to on a daily basis, and then was taken to the hospital due to an infection, to be followed by several valve replacements. Oh by the way she lives in Brooklyn NYC.

Hubby's boss (The CEO) at a young age of 60ish, drops dead, while on a hike with his wife in Maine

Son who is almost NEVER sick is sick AGAIN. I took him to urgent care and later had to follow the ambulance to the hospital. He is doing better now.

I might have missed something. There has been a ton. I do feel that at least I have a starting block to work from.

Strength!!!????

Strength?....what is it? What does it mean? Where does it come from? I honestly, don't know. When is too much, too much?.....I honestly, don't know. When, have I had too much?....I don't know.

I know what I have said in my blog. I have much  more to speak  about. I know, that I have not blogged  in too long. I have thought long, and hard about the best way to present the last several weeks of my life. 

Is in a chronological order? Is it by what is most stressful? Is it that I should deal woth most recent thing, and go back to the rest? I really, really  just don't know.

Here is what I do know. I know that writing helps me. I have been told by others, that I am fairly good at it. I also know that at times I make some of my loved ones angry with my truth.

 So now what?

Perhaps a very good question.  I think, I need to move forward.  I think I need to speak. I NEED to speak.

The next few blogs will not be for the faint hearted. Be aware, very aware.

OK, Let's go!!!!

Moments.. interrupted!-ICE HELMENT!



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I have a TON to talk about. I know I usually try to do this in a chronological  order. I am not so sure that works with my brain right now.  Some things I have spoken about a bit, some things not at all.

I will go into EVERYTHING.  I am, just at this moment getting my brain to connect with my keyboard.

I believe this is my next journey.

But before we go any further, I am in a MAJOR hot-flash, and need to get some ice, in a zip lock bag for my sweating ass.....Please hold.

I wear the ice like a hat on my head. When my DH got home today...and saw me sitting on the throne, with my ice hat...well...I am quite sure he did not think, I was so "hot". I  do have how much ice in a zip lock bag to my top of  my head ratio down to a science. I can ACTUALLY, do chores this way. I will show a photo, probably tomorrow. Holly crap, if I could figure out a way to sell the "ice helmet"....fashionably (of course) I would be rich.

However, because I live in Wisconsin...and not England...we don't have a whole lot of hat wearing here...so that probably will not work. Well..maybe, in private. Who knows? There maybe so many women around the world wearing the "ice helmet" as we speak.

I so need to do a Zip-lock commercial.

Ok, so I was gonna put some make-up on before I posted the "ice helmet" photo....and then, I thought...duh...I am wearing, a %$#@& ICE HELMENT!

I think Ann has  her blogging grove back. Hold on, keep your hand's inside the ride..it will be a hard, funny, sad, and.....quite a wild ride. It has been a super action packed last 6 weeks.

SOOOOOO much more to come.

I need to stop now I might have brain freeze.

Soon!!!

I know, I have not posted in several day. We have a MORE, than a ton going on. I will, I really will. I just can't push my words...they need to come as they come. 

I HOPE by the end of the day, I will have several blogs.

TY, all.

Moments 2....the good!!!

Moments in life..the good, and the bad.

Good moments...in no no order.

1. My children!

2. Fishing with my dad, and brothers.

3. Gardenting with my mom.

4. Going to hang out with my Grand-pa Art at the coffee shop.

5. .Hanging out with my girlfriends, in Jr high, and high School.

6. When my 2nd brother, and I were home alone...when our parent's were at the lake house.

7. The lake house.

8. Waterskiing behind the small fishing boat, with an 18 horse motor, with dad  driving, and mom watching.( I was so little that I could ski behind that boat, I was 16 at the time)

9. My brothers...they were very protective. I can remember one time, I thought I got stood up. Come to find out one of my brothers said, I was not home...while I was getting ready.

10. My family, and this should be higher on the list, but I did say in no particular order. They are all crazy, and so am I...I love them all.

11. My ex-husband, because he gave me two amazing kids.

12.My husband, because he love myself , and my...wait....(our) kids. Although, they are not his, he loves them, and treats them like his own.

I know there is so much more. I just need to stop now..just for now.

Moments!!!!!

I am currently blaring the "Rent" soundtrack...I don't know why but it makes me laugh, and cry at the same time. I believe it was the first NYC Broadway show I took the kids to...when I lived there.  We did see several shows..."The Lion King", "Rent", "Stomp", "Blue Man Group"...to name a few.

It was also the first Broadway show, I had seen...about 2 years before that.

The last few days of my life I have done a ton of thinking. A a whole lot of soul searching. I referenced, A "Rent" song on FB recently. You can find the reference below.

‎525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.

525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?


In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.


In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.


In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?

...How about love? How about love? How

about love? Measure in love.

Moments. Moments in a day, moments in a year, moments in a lifetime. Do we stop for a moment to appreciate the moments we are given? Do we realize when there is a fleeting moment.? Do we pay attention, do we miss it? Do we see the moment and embrace it? Do we wish we had embraced it, and ask for that moment back, but know we will never get it back? What do we do with that moment of regret? Do we change for the hope of having future moments, that we don't want to miss? Moments.

OK, so my soul searching includes....How do I decide when it is some one's time to die? Does it matter that it is an animal, or a person? What would I want? What is the right thing? What is the wrong choice? How do I know what the right choice is? When do I make that choice?

This entry is going to be more than just one post. I still need to think about all this a bit more. I will share my feelings later. I would also love to hear from any of you readers that has an opinion.