I know, I just poured my heart out about the cat.
I was just on a walk with the dogs. It occured to me that, "What must my children think?"" OMG if, I cared so much for the cat, "What do you think? " "YOU are so much more important!"
I almost never post twice in one day...BUT this is worth it. Maybe it was just too hard. Maybe it was because I lied. Maybe it was because, I was too embarresed to be their mom.
I was so ashamed, so stupid...it was only years later,(now) that I could respond.
To my children: my babies..I am so sorry, so very sorry...there is no excuse, I was wrong..I was so VERY wrong...It was my fault, I am sorry.
Good words, right? well, I don't believe them either! I can only show my kids, that I will improve my life, and not be a drunk, by just doing it EVERY day.
Ok THAT was REALLY hard...and I am so done for the day!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
More on Jail, Ug, BUT first the cat.
Ok I will talk about the cat, and jail...
First, I would like to include a great, amazing video. I know, I promised to only talk about others in very general terms, but this is so worth it. Please watch, and understand, that people like the Superior, WI Spartan's coach, are so the type of people we need to be involved with our children...our future. GREAT JOB COACH!
http://www.fox21online.com/news/superior-spartans-win-menomonie-player
Ok, so I guess I probably left out some of the "juicy" stuff out. I guess the stuff that others would like to hear, yet the stuff I would just as soon forget.
Ok so let's address the cat. The coolest cat EVER, he was really more like a dog. He came when he was called, played fetch, he was amazing, and so worth the stress, and annoyance of flying him to NYC. Hubby had a cat for several years, her name is Martha. She was HUGE. When I met her she topped the scale at about 18 lbs. SHE was the "queen" of the house. Hubby was worried that she would not adjust to another..well being(me), not to mention, another cat.
I have to admit, through the council of my sister, we actually consulted a...YES.."pet psychic." To my surprise Martha did not care for the last person that hubby had dated. She did like me better, but she would only "tolerate" Bear.
Anyway, Bear, very quickly was bonded to hubby. On, yet ANOTHER aside, Martha...who I have re-named "Big MAMA!" Or, "MAMA" for short..well she, and I have become best of buds. I understand, that she is the queen, and she let's me.
OK back to the DUI, and the night I lost Bear. OMG, I felt so horrible. So, now I had lost the cat, I am in jail, my yet not then hubby, that had picked up my children, had to drop them back off, and get me in jail.
I thought I would loose him...Thank God, I have not. I reported to treatment..."intensive day treatment, " still not sure what that means. So I went to treatment form 8am-12pm, 5 days a week., for 4 weeks. After I would leave treatment, I would walk the farms, and knock doors of the houses that were far, and few between..dropping off flyers with photos of Bear.
I felt so defeated, I felt soo responsible, after 3 weeks, and below zero whether, I thought, there was no hope. I just had so much guilt. It was my responsibility to protect another being's life, and I failed.
I went to a shelter that had a cat that looked a bit like Bear, it was not. I did however, while still at the hotel waiting for the house to close, did happen to bring home two kittens...brothers. That was an interesting phone call to make from WI to NYC. Kind of like this, "Hon?...yes...so it was not Bear, no I know...I will keep looking, uh well hon..um...well, I hope ya don't mind...while I was at the shelter well..what? well, um no I didn't adopt a cat...well actually...I adopted two.
Now hubby has to deal with a move, an alcoholic wife, lost cat, and kittens. I don't know, maybe my brain felt if I could not find Bear, I could at least help these two. Ya wanna hear the clincher? So the guy that found the kittens, was a bit of a drunk, he had named them...wait for it..."Miller, and Bud." Oh how poetic. Well, I did change the names immediately.
So now I have the kittens at the hotel, we closed on the house. We were getting ready to move in...but WAIT there is more. So when married to my ex-husband, he and I had a blue n gold macaw, and a dog we had since a pup. His wife was never fond of the bird..some ppl are bird ppl some are not. He did love the bird, but he worked a ton. As far as the dog, well she was pretty old at that point, and they had small kids. Old girl, was very food protective, and my bite a toddler near her food dish.
So we FINALLY, got possession of the house, and with in one day, went from not one cat (MAMA) to 3 cats, and a dog, AND a bird. The dog (Ginger) is STILL here...almost 18years, the bird (Oscar) is sooo still here he is going on 25, and happens to be sitting on the back of my computer chair as I write...he usually is. I will have to will him to someone as they can live up to 100 years.
We had been in the house a week, it was now March. Bear had been gone 6 weeks. I still knocked on doors, put flayers in mail boxes, and walked through strangers barns. I felt so much guilt.
One day while unpacking boxes a few days after we got into the house. Well, of course, the same time the cable guy was going to arrive, I got a phone call. The woman on the other end said, " I think I found Bear!"
Hubby was home too. We ran to the car, and drove to her home...I knew EXACTLY where it was...I had bothered her MANY times during my daily search. On the way out I mentioned to hubby, "Oh crap, the cable guy." I knew it would be a few more days before cable. Funny what goes through our head sometimes.
IT WAS BEAR! He was soo skinny, and sooo sick. I felt so very responsible. It broke my heart. We brought him home. I held him all night long in a towel. We took him to the vet the next morning. He got a bunch of "kitty ensure." He did get some frost bite on the end of his tail. He lost about an inch of his tail. He is still here, I am sure he still holds a grudge against me...justified. He sleeps next to hubby every night. The most CRAZY thing...the jackass STILL begs to go out on a nearly daily basis.
Wow, that was harder than I thought...that is enough for today.
First, I would like to include a great, amazing video. I know, I promised to only talk about others in very general terms, but this is so worth it. Please watch, and understand, that people like the Superior, WI Spartan's coach, are so the type of people we need to be involved with our children...our future. GREAT JOB COACH!
http://www.fox21online.com/news/superior-spartans-win-menomonie-player
Ok, so I guess I probably left out some of the "juicy" stuff out. I guess the stuff that others would like to hear, yet the stuff I would just as soon forget.
Ok so let's address the cat. The coolest cat EVER, he was really more like a dog. He came when he was called, played fetch, he was amazing, and so worth the stress, and annoyance of flying him to NYC. Hubby had a cat for several years, her name is Martha. She was HUGE. When I met her she topped the scale at about 18 lbs. SHE was the "queen" of the house. Hubby was worried that she would not adjust to another..well being(me), not to mention, another cat.
I have to admit, through the council of my sister, we actually consulted a...YES.."pet psychic." To my surprise Martha did not care for the last person that hubby had dated. She did like me better, but she would only "tolerate" Bear.
Anyway, Bear, very quickly was bonded to hubby. On, yet ANOTHER aside, Martha...who I have re-named "Big MAMA!" Or, "MAMA" for short..well she, and I have become best of buds. I understand, that she is the queen, and she let's me.
OK back to the DUI, and the night I lost Bear. OMG, I felt so horrible. So, now I had lost the cat, I am in jail, my yet not then hubby, that had picked up my children, had to drop them back off, and get me in jail.
I thought I would loose him...Thank God, I have not. I reported to treatment..."intensive day treatment, " still not sure what that means. So I went to treatment form 8am-12pm, 5 days a week., for 4 weeks. After I would leave treatment, I would walk the farms, and knock doors of the houses that were far, and few between..dropping off flyers with photos of Bear.
I felt so defeated, I felt soo responsible, after 3 weeks, and below zero whether, I thought, there was no hope. I just had so much guilt. It was my responsibility to protect another being's life, and I failed.
I went to a shelter that had a cat that looked a bit like Bear, it was not. I did however, while still at the hotel waiting for the house to close, did happen to bring home two kittens...brothers. That was an interesting phone call to make from WI to NYC. Kind of like this, "Hon?...yes...so it was not Bear, no I know...I will keep looking, uh well hon..um...well, I hope ya don't mind...while I was at the shelter well..what? well, um no I didn't adopt a cat...well actually...I adopted two.
Now hubby has to deal with a move, an alcoholic wife, lost cat, and kittens. I don't know, maybe my brain felt if I could not find Bear, I could at least help these two. Ya wanna hear the clincher? So the guy that found the kittens, was a bit of a drunk, he had named them...wait for it..."Miller, and Bud." Oh how poetic. Well, I did change the names immediately.
So now I have the kittens at the hotel, we closed on the house. We were getting ready to move in...but WAIT there is more. So when married to my ex-husband, he and I had a blue n gold macaw, and a dog we had since a pup. His wife was never fond of the bird..some ppl are bird ppl some are not. He did love the bird, but he worked a ton. As far as the dog, well she was pretty old at that point, and they had small kids. Old girl, was very food protective, and my bite a toddler near her food dish.
So we FINALLY, got possession of the house, and with in one day, went from not one cat (MAMA) to 3 cats, and a dog, AND a bird. The dog (Ginger) is STILL here...almost 18years, the bird (Oscar) is sooo still here he is going on 25, and happens to be sitting on the back of my computer chair as I write...he usually is. I will have to will him to someone as they can live up to 100 years.
We had been in the house a week, it was now March. Bear had been gone 6 weeks. I still knocked on doors, put flayers in mail boxes, and walked through strangers barns. I felt so much guilt.
One day while unpacking boxes a few days after we got into the house. Well, of course, the same time the cable guy was going to arrive, I got a phone call. The woman on the other end said, " I think I found Bear!"
Hubby was home too. We ran to the car, and drove to her home...I knew EXACTLY where it was...I had bothered her MANY times during my daily search. On the way out I mentioned to hubby, "Oh crap, the cable guy." I knew it would be a few more days before cable. Funny what goes through our head sometimes.
IT WAS BEAR! He was soo skinny, and sooo sick. I felt so very responsible. It broke my heart. We brought him home. I held him all night long in a towel. We took him to the vet the next morning. He got a bunch of "kitty ensure." He did get some frost bite on the end of his tail. He lost about an inch of his tail. He is still here, I am sure he still holds a grudge against me...justified. He sleeps next to hubby every night. The most CRAZY thing...the jackass STILL begs to go out on a nearly daily basis.
Wow, that was harder than I thought...that is enough for today.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
OK OK... Working up to Jail, It may take a bit.
Ok real quick before we get started. I want to say, "THANKS to all that follow." I find it amazing that there are so many that do actually read...Especially since I have only 6 ppl registered, and one is myself, another is my husband. Eh that's ok, probably similar to not wanting anyone to know what is "actually" on you IPOD. But really...thank you all!
When I speak to someone that has been following...and honestly, some ppl that I would have never imagined would follow...I like to ask 3 questions. #1 Why do ya like the blog? Response: "because it is real" #2 If you didn't know me would it be interesting? Some do know me, some don't. Response: "YES." # 3 How might I improve? Response. "More, More, more...daily at least." I both flattered, and a bit confused, but again thanks. Even if ya don't want to claim you read it, please feel free to share with anyone.
OK well, so after the DUI thing in NYC, I had met my hubby. I am going to have to circle around a bit to the events that eventually led up to us moving back to WI. I will do that later.
Anyhow I knew I had to move next to the kids' dad(WI) for the benefit for the kids. The hard part was that I had a GREAT man out east(hubby). He was so awesome, we sold the house in Jersey, and started house hunting in WI. The whole thing was if we were gonna bother to do this,is that we would move as close to the kids' dad as possible.
We found a home in the next neighborhood over. The plan was I would drive out early, to deal with house stuff, and hubby would still commute from Manhattan. I gave up my sales job at ADT Security, where I was a top sales person, for a few years. Gave up?, not really. The truth was, although I always brought in the numbers..which is what ya need to do in sales, I was already a drunk. Even though, my boss..who had no problem taking the bonus for my sales, was in fact, the same person who did not give me a transfer. He was the same person, who really did not know my husband but, told him to RUN! Again, I found that out months later.
Anyway, the plan when I got to WI, and would be staying in a hotel until the house closing, was to also look for a job.
So I loaded up my car, and my cat. The cat was actually a kitten that one of the cat's at the kids' dad's house had. I said I would take it. It ended up to be the most expensive kittens ever. I paid for the shots, the airfare, to NYC, and the general stress of getting it from point A to B. Anyhow, hubby (not hubby at the time, but ya get it) also had a cat. He was so worried that they would not get along with each other when we initially moved in together. They, really didn't get along...but it was fine. Hubby became very attached to "Bear" (the cat).
I had to tell ya all of that so I could tell ya this. So on the two day drive from NJ to WI, It was horrible weather..it was January. Ice, snow, freezing rain. Both days. I stopped in Ohio to stay the night. Hubby was going to be flying in the night I would arrive. He picked up the kids at their dad house, and was going to meet me at the hotel. I had called when I was about 40 mins away. I thought, I was "safe" to get a bottle of vodka. NOT! While it was still freezing rain, the cat got very ancy. I thought maybe he had to use the litter box, which was in the back hatchback of the car. I had the bottle of vodka, and had taken a few swigs..knowing I would be at the hotel soon.
I pulled the car over, put the cat in the litter box, when I went to open the hatch to let him back in the car...SHIT..He ran!!! Now, I am, in the dark, on the highway, nothing bur farmers frozen fields, and freezing rain, oh and a black cat. I wandered, and called, for hours. I gave up, and at that moment, thought it was a GREAT idea just to drink. I know, so a bad choice, I am a drunk, I don't always make the best choices.
I parked my car on the side of the highway, and drank, and cried myself to sleep. I was woken up by the police. I was taken to jail. Wanted to call hubby, but my phone was dead, AND of course I did not have his number memorized..duh speed dial. What a fucking nightmare, he had already picked up the kids, and they were at the hotel. We finally found each other, he lied to the kids' dad, dropped them off, and came to pick me up at jail.
That was the first time I admitted that I had a problem. I was so very afraid. I wasn't sure if hubby would stay, or walk away. I had a knot in my gut for days. The day I got pulled over was a Friday...Friday the 13th, of 2006 to be exact. I reported the next day for treatment.
I did not have a great lawyer, so the courts, saw that as a 2nd offense. I was sentenced to 80 days in jail. There is a side story to tell...which I will do tomorrow...I just want to get thought the basics today. I think that is rough enough.
At the time I was not working. I was awarded Huber, but with no job. Ya get to ROT in County jail...It was the worst. I did know about something called "work crew." Basically, a program, that when you are in jail you could work for um..Goodwill, soup kitchens, and things like that. If awarded, work crew...for every 3 days worked, ya get one of of your sentence.
There is soo much more just to this story, and I just need to chill before I go into all the details...I think this is a good place to stop for today. What happened to the cat?, you ask? I will let ya know tomorrow.
When I speak to someone that has been following...and honestly, some ppl that I would have never imagined would follow...I like to ask 3 questions. #1 Why do ya like the blog? Response: "because it is real" #2 If you didn't know me would it be interesting? Some do know me, some don't. Response: "YES." # 3 How might I improve? Response. "More, More, more...daily at least." I both flattered, and a bit confused, but again thanks. Even if ya don't want to claim you read it, please feel free to share with anyone.
OK well, so after the DUI thing in NYC, I had met my hubby. I am going to have to circle around a bit to the events that eventually led up to us moving back to WI. I will do that later.
Anyhow I knew I had to move next to the kids' dad(WI) for the benefit for the kids. The hard part was that I had a GREAT man out east(hubby). He was so awesome, we sold the house in Jersey, and started house hunting in WI. The whole thing was if we were gonna bother to do this,is that we would move as close to the kids' dad as possible.
We found a home in the next neighborhood over. The plan was I would drive out early, to deal with house stuff, and hubby would still commute from Manhattan. I gave up my sales job at ADT Security, where I was a top sales person, for a few years. Gave up?, not really. The truth was, although I always brought in the numbers..which is what ya need to do in sales, I was already a drunk. Even though, my boss..who had no problem taking the bonus for my sales, was in fact, the same person who did not give me a transfer. He was the same person, who really did not know my husband but, told him to RUN! Again, I found that out months later.
Anyway, the plan when I got to WI, and would be staying in a hotel until the house closing, was to also look for a job.
So I loaded up my car, and my cat. The cat was actually a kitten that one of the cat's at the kids' dad's house had. I said I would take it. It ended up to be the most expensive kittens ever. I paid for the shots, the airfare, to NYC, and the general stress of getting it from point A to B. Anyhow, hubby (not hubby at the time, but ya get it) also had a cat. He was so worried that they would not get along with each other when we initially moved in together. They, really didn't get along...but it was fine. Hubby became very attached to "Bear" (the cat).
I had to tell ya all of that so I could tell ya this. So on the two day drive from NJ to WI, It was horrible weather..it was January. Ice, snow, freezing rain. Both days. I stopped in Ohio to stay the night. Hubby was going to be flying in the night I would arrive. He picked up the kids at their dad house, and was going to meet me at the hotel. I had called when I was about 40 mins away. I thought, I was "safe" to get a bottle of vodka. NOT! While it was still freezing rain, the cat got very ancy. I thought maybe he had to use the litter box, which was in the back hatchback of the car. I had the bottle of vodka, and had taken a few swigs..knowing I would be at the hotel soon.
I pulled the car over, put the cat in the litter box, when I went to open the hatch to let him back in the car...SHIT..He ran!!! Now, I am, in the dark, on the highway, nothing bur farmers frozen fields, and freezing rain, oh and a black cat. I wandered, and called, for hours. I gave up, and at that moment, thought it was a GREAT idea just to drink. I know, so a bad choice, I am a drunk, I don't always make the best choices.
I parked my car on the side of the highway, and drank, and cried myself to sleep. I was woken up by the police. I was taken to jail. Wanted to call hubby, but my phone was dead, AND of course I did not have his number memorized..duh speed dial. What a fucking nightmare, he had already picked up the kids, and they were at the hotel. We finally found each other, he lied to the kids' dad, dropped them off, and came to pick me up at jail.
That was the first time I admitted that I had a problem. I was so very afraid. I wasn't sure if hubby would stay, or walk away. I had a knot in my gut for days. The day I got pulled over was a Friday...Friday the 13th, of 2006 to be exact. I reported the next day for treatment.
I did not have a great lawyer, so the courts, saw that as a 2nd offense. I was sentenced to 80 days in jail. There is a side story to tell...which I will do tomorrow...I just want to get thought the basics today. I think that is rough enough.
At the time I was not working. I was awarded Huber, but with no job. Ya get to ROT in County jail...It was the worst. I did know about something called "work crew." Basically, a program, that when you are in jail you could work for um..Goodwill, soup kitchens, and things like that. If awarded, work crew...for every 3 days worked, ya get one of of your sentence.
There is soo much more just to this story, and I just need to chill before I go into all the details...I think this is a good place to stop for today. What happened to the cat?, you ask? I will let ya know tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
She was the perfect chaos, to his order!
OK, so the last time we talked about jail, I was in Brooklyn "central booking." A VERY scary place to be. I was being "protected" by a vary large black woman, and praying I got arraigned by midnight on Sat., so I would be out in time to receive a reward for being a top sales person. Thank God, it worked out. I was able to receive my award. I did have to call a co-worker to drive my ass, because my car was impounded. Not really sure if those of you that are not from NYC know exactly what that means.
We will talk about more jail experiences in the next few days...I PROMISE...
So I will tell you. At the end of the day it took 6 months to get the DUI case finished. I ended up pleading to "driving while impaired." Through a VERY expensive lawyer. What that means I was under the legal limit, or possibly tired, or on cold medicine. Yet, my $1,200.00 car had been in impound for months. The total to get the car out of the impound lot was, $5,500.00, I told them they could keep it.
Now, it was shortly after I had gotten the DUI, that I met my now husband. It was around the time that, the book "He's Just Not That Into You" had come out. So I was working for ADT Security, Commercially. I often worked late, there were a few of us that always did. There was another girl, and a guy, we were always there late. So the other girl, and I were trading the book back, and fourth between our cubicles. "OMG read this one." Oh NO, "Did you see this passage?" Things like that. Lamenting, bitching...."There are no good men." Mind you all, this was NYC, a population of 8 MILLION.
So the guy said, "I have one single friend." I sd, ok sign me up. Well, he, and I started e-mailing. I thought ok I will send him a photo. I send a modeling photo, a "comp card" (which is basically, a business card for models. Ya would leave it at an audition. It has a head shot, and like 3 other shots, and your stats...bust, hips, waist, shoe size...etc)
So for whatever reason, the photos never came through...BUT, all my stats did. Which he did not tell me happened until several months into our relationship. Can you imagine what he thought? "What crazy woman sends out her stats?" Anyway, I guess it worked. We had dated about a month, before I came clean about the DUI.
We knew we were meant for each other. I will also say that this man had only order in his life. Early on we were taking the train back to his house(from Manhattan to Jersey) and the train swipe card reader was not working....so ya needed change, quarters to be exact. I immediately started to dig through my purse which is so NOT organized. (Something out of that Jennifer Aniston, Ben Stiller movie...Polly something...ya know where he is the risk asser, and she is the crazy girl that plops her purse down on the dirty NYC sidewalk to fish out her keys?...yeah like that) He, calmly pulled out his briefcase, opened it up, and found several zip lock bags, with the exact amount of quarters needed for the train in each bag. At that point, I had to wonder, really wonder, "Is this gonna work?"
The truth was, from the exacts words that his friend that had introduced us was..."She is the perfect chaos, to your order."
Oh my, he never knew how VERY true that was. That was in 2003.
I know I wrote about him staying home, and annoying me yesterday...which he did. I also need to say he makes me laugh almost every day, and I cannot imagine my life with out him.
Actually, his is the perfect order to my chaos!
I think that is all for today.
We will talk about more jail experiences in the next few days...I PROMISE...
So I will tell you. At the end of the day it took 6 months to get the DUI case finished. I ended up pleading to "driving while impaired." Through a VERY expensive lawyer. What that means I was under the legal limit, or possibly tired, or on cold medicine. Yet, my $1,200.00 car had been in impound for months. The total to get the car out of the impound lot was, $5,500.00, I told them they could keep it.
Now, it was shortly after I had gotten the DUI, that I met my now husband. It was around the time that, the book "He's Just Not That Into You" had come out. So I was working for ADT Security, Commercially. I often worked late, there were a few of us that always did. There was another girl, and a guy, we were always there late. So the other girl, and I were trading the book back, and fourth between our cubicles. "OMG read this one." Oh NO, "Did you see this passage?" Things like that. Lamenting, bitching...."There are no good men." Mind you all, this was NYC, a population of 8 MILLION.
So the guy said, "I have one single friend." I sd, ok sign me up. Well, he, and I started e-mailing. I thought ok I will send him a photo. I send a modeling photo, a "comp card" (which is basically, a business card for models. Ya would leave it at an audition. It has a head shot, and like 3 other shots, and your stats...bust, hips, waist, shoe size...etc)
So for whatever reason, the photos never came through...BUT, all my stats did. Which he did not tell me happened until several months into our relationship. Can you imagine what he thought? "What crazy woman sends out her stats?" Anyway, I guess it worked. We had dated about a month, before I came clean about the DUI.
We knew we were meant for each other. I will also say that this man had only order in his life. Early on we were taking the train back to his house(from Manhattan to Jersey) and the train swipe card reader was not working....so ya needed change, quarters to be exact. I immediately started to dig through my purse which is so NOT organized. (Something out of that Jennifer Aniston, Ben Stiller movie...Polly something...ya know where he is the risk asser, and she is the crazy girl that plops her purse down on the dirty NYC sidewalk to fish out her keys?...yeah like that) He, calmly pulled out his briefcase, opened it up, and found several zip lock bags, with the exact amount of quarters needed for the train in each bag. At that point, I had to wonder, really wonder, "Is this gonna work?"
The truth was, from the exacts words that his friend that had introduced us was..."She is the perfect chaos, to your order."
Oh my, he never knew how VERY true that was. That was in 2003.
I know I wrote about him staying home, and annoying me yesterday...which he did. I also need to say he makes me laugh almost every day, and I cannot imagine my life with out him.
Actually, his is the perfect order to my chaos!
I think that is all for today.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Men are Whimps When Sick...and a Pain in the ASS!
Ok so more on the jail thing later. Right now, ug my hubby is the biggest pain in my butt!.
Why? You ask? OK, I will tell ya. So hubby is home sick today. He almost NEVER is home sick. I say if your are sick, then go to bed, and be sick. Don't try to micromanage all the stuff I do on a daily basis...just go to bed already.
Examples? You ask? OK. So the day started with the boy forgetting his lunch. OK no problem....make the lunch and deliver it to school. Stopped at the store to get the dishwasher soap that we were out of...I KNOW I am never out of it b/c I ALWAYS stock up, but eventually it does run out... Came back home and started on the garden work I had planned for the day....I had made sure to do my in home cleaning, and "canning"...I KNOW more canning...but had finished over the weekend. Tried to feed sick hubby, he did eat..kind of. He went upstairs to chill and watch TV....Alas..nothing on. He came outside in is PJ's. He said, "Nothing on TV." I said, "Give me about another 10-15 mins, I will get you a movie via 'red box.' "What do ya want?" Well he went to go check. He found a couple. YET in the midst of it all, I was trimming the shrubs, with the electric trimmer. He was suddenly oh so...hum the uber supervisor! Outside in his pj's. NOW, I must say, I have asked him to do this chore for three weeks in a row, and nada! So now, the day he is home sick, he is gonna tell me how to do it?
I PROMISE I LOVE THIS MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH! However, hon...either I need to get a job right quick, or you can not be home during the day.
I will leave ya with this...Hair dying was part of my plan today. Now I hate the process, it's annoying, but I hate the grey more. However, I kind of have this home hair dying process which just includes me, maybe a "lifetime" movie, I don't know, maybe skin picking, brow plucking...just self stuff. Maybe self stuff that I would not want to share with others.
The hair got colored...just not so relaxing. Oh crap, and now I feel even more selfish...
So now, I feel horrible....Hubby just texted me to bring him his cold medicine. Who knows maybe I am a bit selfish. Probably. The annoying thing is that I am happy to help ya when ya don't feel well, but please don't judge the way the house works when you are not here.
I think I should just let this be for now.
Why? You ask? OK, I will tell ya. So hubby is home sick today. He almost NEVER is home sick. I say if your are sick, then go to bed, and be sick. Don't try to micromanage all the stuff I do on a daily basis...just go to bed already.
Examples? You ask? OK. So the day started with the boy forgetting his lunch. OK no problem....make the lunch and deliver it to school. Stopped at the store to get the dishwasher soap that we were out of...I KNOW I am never out of it b/c I ALWAYS stock up, but eventually it does run out... Came back home and started on the garden work I had planned for the day....I had made sure to do my in home cleaning, and "canning"...I KNOW more canning...but had finished over the weekend. Tried to feed sick hubby, he did eat..kind of. He went upstairs to chill and watch TV....Alas..nothing on. He came outside in is PJ's. He said, "Nothing on TV." I said, "Give me about another 10-15 mins, I will get you a movie via 'red box.' "What do ya want?" Well he went to go check. He found a couple. YET in the midst of it all, I was trimming the shrubs, with the electric trimmer. He was suddenly oh so...hum the uber supervisor! Outside in his pj's. NOW, I must say, I have asked him to do this chore for three weeks in a row, and nada! So now, the day he is home sick, he is gonna tell me how to do it?
I PROMISE I LOVE THIS MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH! However, hon...either I need to get a job right quick, or you can not be home during the day.
I will leave ya with this...Hair dying was part of my plan today. Now I hate the process, it's annoying, but I hate the grey more. However, I kind of have this home hair dying process which just includes me, maybe a "lifetime" movie, I don't know, maybe skin picking, brow plucking...just self stuff. Maybe self stuff that I would not want to share with others.
The hair got colored...just not so relaxing. Oh crap, and now I feel even more selfish...
So now, I feel horrible....Hubby just texted me to bring him his cold medicine. Who knows maybe I am a bit selfish. Probably. The annoying thing is that I am happy to help ya when ya don't feel well, but please don't judge the way the house works when you are not here.
I think I should just let this be for now.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Running out the Neighbor!
OK so this is a bit complex, hurtful, and funny at the same time.
I must start this story by saying that when my hubby and I moved back from out East, we mad a conscience choice to be as close to the kid's dad as we could. Well, when you are in a sleepy town that has NO stoplights...the options are limited.
The kid's dad and I had a VERY nice home. DH and I found a really nince home as well.. It was one neighborhood over a few streets
It was the TOTAL package,.Elite neighborhood in the town...same bus stop as the kids's dad...
(Pre-divorce)There were times, when the kid's dad and I would go for a walk, and had a dream of living there.(HERE) Now I did live there.
We did have good times, not all bad. I need every divorced parent, and child to know it was not all just bad...There were many good times.
My move was not to live in THAT neighborhood, but it was the only option. To be quite honest the ONLY reason I lived so close WAS only for the kids.
At the end of the day it was a choice I made about my children. The main reason was so the kids would be close enough to share a bus stop, and go back n foutth between houses...
Well, I had to tell you that story, to tell ya the next one.
Ok so there is a neighbor...that thinks we don't belong here...we don't drive the right cars(no BMW or Merceeses). The woman was subdivision President for years.
I had been away for a girls weekend. a few years ago....He(DH) went to the subdivision meeting. I SD don't bother...He went and became the subdiviosion..Secterery.I sd he would be sorry. Neighborrhood politics, crap that is worse that running for Senate. So DH was sectery for a couple years.
They asked him to be Pres".I sd u did what?" I also sd I will not field any calls, and not deal with ANY of the neighbors' phone calls"...You chose it, u deal..... He did not.listen...he accepted. OMG. The bitch that was the former Pres...( frist house built) When on to say what a," looser his wife he had...ya know being a dunk and all."(it was worse than that) that was about 2 weeks after he had signed up.
Thank GOD I married somene that had a clue....That is all I will say about that.
She accused me of being the "town drunk", So stupid (more on that in a bit) My hubby Immedatietly resigned.
Well the neighboor hood wanted to know WHY?....DH sent a letter explaining that NO ONE wouold talk about his wife/family that way....
Now... our next door neighbor is Pres.( also kind of our adoptive parents)'. The same woman would bitch about out dogs running loose. AND they Don't! I must say on occasion,...when I am taking them for a swim or, to run in the woods they have escaped. But I am RIGHT there and ALWAYS respective all and, am right behind them.
No one else has an issue...
I will also say that there are many dogs in the neighborhood. And that my DH goes once a week and cleans up poop on the general grounds that is so not our dog's...He just does. It doesen't matter who's poop.
So BITCH called the police on me....now this happened to be a day that I was having to deal with my dad's VERY advanced Altz.... I will fully admit to being in bed crying.
That same day she called the cops in Waterford, and gave them a poop in a bag...I guess from her yard. ,and told them to come to my home. Sadly my son knew why I was upset.
My boy answerd the door....to be met by "the neighbor, and police" Before she called the police my DS had been at home...and KNEW no one was off the leash or "running around the neighborhood." She had already SCREAMED at DS..
This woman proceeded to tell my son what a LOOSER I was, and to further lamblast me. Oh, and I was the "Town Drunk"... the fact of the mater is I never have drank in town since my ex husband.(around 2000) .It is frustrating that she continues to bitch to my neighbors.
She is right I am a drunk, but am constantly addressing the issue and have been sober for almost a year now. And for a couple years, prior to the dreadful day I fell off the wagon.
This woman went on a blitz, bitching to EVERYONE(in the neighboorhood) that I was a drunk, and I had served jail time. AGAIN I live in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in town...not by choice, but by convience.
GREAT! I know I am a drunk, as well , do my children.
I was VERY pissed...I slept on it for days. I finally told my hubby, and son I need to confront her....It was the march of WTF. I walked up rang her bell, her hubby cane to the door. I asked for HER, I had my hubby , and son behind me like hench men.
I asked her if she sd what she did to my son....She never denied it...she told me I was crazy and to "get off of her property."
long story longer...in this VERY exclusive neighboorhood where I live...with DS, and Hubby behind me, I yelled at the top of my lungs...on a very nice spring/summer day when everyone was outside....," Let me save you the trouble...I AM A DRUNK, I AM A FUCKING DRUNK!....ok so now that we are clear...I think we are done".
She again INSISTED I get of her property.
Oh so the reason was she called the cops...was there was poop in her yard....
We live in a neighborrhood of dogs but she called the police on me.
NOW,I have made SURE my dogs NEVER walk that way...we leash them...we DO let them swim on our pier, WE do not let them run loose, EXCEPT fo Ginger who is 18 in "real" years. We live on a culdasac. At times I let her out, but watch her out the window...she goes out like 50 times a day...which AGAIN I take full responsibility for.
EVERYONE love us...well we give them veggies, and whatever I make canning.
OK so now the funny part...we are so not white trash, but what happens next is too funny to me. OK so remember last week when I was making jam, and canning...I had left some fruit on for a bit too long, and trashed a pot....
OK so DH sd take it out of the trash..."I could try to powerwash it." I fished it out of the trash...it soaked in the garage for about a week.
As DH was powerwashing the birdcage (blue/gold macwaw). I sd, "oh the pan."...so DH the GREAT,at at time when the really cool neighbors accross the street have company, grabs the pan.
So now we are in a u hold it...no u hold it battle. So he finally holds the pan, as I BLAST him...it was soo funny. Just as DD was pulling in from work, we traded. Ok so just imagine this photo....in one of the most "exclusive" neighborhoods in the "throbing metropolis" of Waterford....My DH is holding the pan that I burned fruit onto....while I have the power washer in hand...in the street...as that happens...the ppl that think we are so low-brow" happen to pass by.
The neighbor that hate us also so happened to put their house up for sale last week.
My response..."No Wonder why They are Moving?"
All I have to say is EVERYONE else got jam, and picklels...."NO JAM 4 YOU!
I must start this story by saying that when my hubby and I moved back from out East, we mad a conscience choice to be as close to the kid's dad as we could. Well, when you are in a sleepy town that has NO stoplights...the options are limited.
The kid's dad and I had a VERY nice home. DH and I found a really nince home as well.. It was one neighborhood over a few streets
It was the TOTAL package,.Elite neighborhood in the town...same bus stop as the kids's dad...
(Pre-divorce)There were times, when the kid's dad and I would go for a walk, and had a dream of living there.(HERE) Now I did live there.
We did have good times, not all bad. I need every divorced parent, and child to know it was not all just bad...There were many good times.
My move was not to live in THAT neighborhood, but it was the only option. To be quite honest the ONLY reason I lived so close WAS only for the kids.
At the end of the day it was a choice I made about my children. The main reason was so the kids would be close enough to share a bus stop, and go back n foutth between houses...
Well, I had to tell you that story, to tell ya the next one.
Ok so there is a neighbor...that thinks we don't belong here...we don't drive the right cars(no BMW or Merceeses). The woman was subdivision President for years.
I had been away for a girls weekend. a few years ago....He(DH) went to the subdivision meeting. I SD don't bother...He went and became the subdiviosion..Secterery.I sd he would be sorry. Neighborrhood politics, crap that is worse that running for Senate. So DH was sectery for a couple years.
They asked him to be Pres".I sd u did what?" I also sd I will not field any calls, and not deal with ANY of the neighbors' phone calls"...You chose it, u deal..... He did not.listen...he accepted. OMG. The bitch that was the former Pres...( frist house built) When on to say what a," looser his wife he had...ya know being a dunk and all."(it was worse than that) that was about 2 weeks after he had signed up.
Thank GOD I married somene that had a clue....That is all I will say about that.
She accused me of being the "town drunk", So stupid (more on that in a bit) My hubby Immedatietly resigned.
Well the neighboor hood wanted to know WHY?....DH sent a letter explaining that NO ONE wouold talk about his wife/family that way....
Now... our next door neighbor is Pres.( also kind of our adoptive parents)'. The same woman would bitch about out dogs running loose. AND they Don't! I must say on occasion,...when I am taking them for a swim or, to run in the woods they have escaped. But I am RIGHT there and ALWAYS respective all and, am right behind them.
No one else has an issue...
I will also say that there are many dogs in the neighborhood. And that my DH goes once a week and cleans up poop on the general grounds that is so not our dog's...He just does. It doesen't matter who's poop.
So BITCH called the police on me....now this happened to be a day that I was having to deal with my dad's VERY advanced Altz.... I will fully admit to being in bed crying.
That same day she called the cops in Waterford, and gave them a poop in a bag...I guess from her yard. ,and told them to come to my home. Sadly my son knew why I was upset.
My boy answerd the door....to be met by "the neighbor, and police" Before she called the police my DS had been at home...and KNEW no one was off the leash or "running around the neighborhood." She had already SCREAMED at DS..
This woman proceeded to tell my son what a LOOSER I was, and to further lamblast me. Oh, and I was the "Town Drunk"... the fact of the mater is I never have drank in town since my ex husband.(around 2000) .It is frustrating that she continues to bitch to my neighbors.
She is right I am a drunk, but am constantly addressing the issue and have been sober for almost a year now. And for a couple years, prior to the dreadful day I fell off the wagon.
This woman went on a blitz, bitching to EVERYONE(in the neighboorhood) that I was a drunk, and I had served jail time. AGAIN I live in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in town...not by choice, but by convience.
GREAT! I know I am a drunk, as well , do my children.
I was VERY pissed...I slept on it for days. I finally told my hubby, and son I need to confront her....It was the march of WTF. I walked up rang her bell, her hubby cane to the door. I asked for HER, I had my hubby , and son behind me like hench men.
I asked her if she sd what she did to my son....She never denied it...she told me I was crazy and to "get off of her property."
long story longer...in this VERY exclusive neighboorhood where I live...with DS, and Hubby behind me, I yelled at the top of my lungs...on a very nice spring/summer day when everyone was outside....," Let me save you the trouble...I AM A DRUNK, I AM A FUCKING DRUNK!....ok so now that we are clear...I think we are done".
She again INSISTED I get of her property.
Oh so the reason was she called the cops...was there was poop in her yard....
We live in a neighborrhood of dogs but she called the police on me.
NOW,I have made SURE my dogs NEVER walk that way...we leash them...we DO let them swim on our pier, WE do not let them run loose, EXCEPT fo Ginger who is 18 in "real" years. We live on a culdasac. At times I let her out, but watch her out the window...she goes out like 50 times a day...which AGAIN I take full responsibility for.
EVERYONE love us...well we give them veggies, and whatever I make canning.
OK so now the funny part...we are so not white trash, but what happens next is too funny to me. OK so remember last week when I was making jam, and canning...I had left some fruit on for a bit too long, and trashed a pot....
OK so DH sd take it out of the trash..."I could try to powerwash it." I fished it out of the trash...it soaked in the garage for about a week.
As DH was powerwashing the birdcage (blue/gold macwaw). I sd, "oh the pan."...so DH the GREAT,at at time when the really cool neighbors accross the street have company, grabs the pan.
So now we are in a u hold it...no u hold it battle. So he finally holds the pan, as I BLAST him...it was soo funny. Just as DD was pulling in from work, we traded. Ok so just imagine this photo....in one of the most "exclusive" neighborhoods in the "throbing metropolis" of Waterford....My DH is holding the pan that I burned fruit onto....while I have the power washer in hand...in the street...as that happens...the ppl that think we are so low-brow" happen to pass by.
The neighbor that hate us also so happened to put their house up for sale last week.
My response..."No Wonder why They are Moving?"
All I have to say is EVERYONE else got jam, and picklels...."NO JAM 4 YOU!
Me Time...NOT!
It was a very difficult time of trying to hang on, yet try to let go of my DS. I want him to have a great time hanging with friends, I really do. I do so worry about him being predisposed to addict behavior. I've worried since the time he could not put a video game down. I worried more when he stole smokes from me. I worry about worse. I worry about drinking, and drugging.
SO I was probably, the WAY overprotective mom last night. He called, and checked in...sd, "He was hanging w/friends after school." I of course, asked who, where, when, and what. He happened to stop by home...I was in the midst of canning more stuff. He sd he just came to get something. I went out side to "visit" interrogate his friends; Several boys, and 1 girl. I asked who the driver was...someone I had never met. I also noticed that one of his friends that I really don't care for was there. I told him I was not really ok with the situation. I really think that kid is bad news.
I let him go with the condition he had to check in every couple hours. They were going to a bonfire, at one of the kid's houses. I called him a couple of hours later..they were still out driving. I really wanted to go pick him up...in fact I, threatened I would. I let him stay. I did however demand the address...and that a parent would be there. I KNOW when I was his age I did a bunch of stupid things. I am not naive either...I do expect my kids to experiment with alcohol, and drugs. I do also believe it is MY JOB TO KEEP THEM ALIVE!
Ug I don't know. He is on the way to getting his driver's license. Yet he has no job. I know for a fact that at his dad's house he will not be able to get a license until he can cover his insurance. YET he seems to have no real desire for a job....Well maybe kind of, but not really. Yes, we do live in a small town. BUT when we had a bit of a heart to heart today...I suggested, he walk up, and down the main street...which is called MAIN St...yes small town...and just go business to business...he said, "No...he was tired, his calves hurt from karate, he needed some "chill" time." Funny thing was, he was fine to hang with friends last night. His face had scratches, I asked, "what happened to your face?" He Said, " it was basketball." So again not in so much pain, or too tired to play ball.
ANYWAY, I had been cleaning the house...I needed some "ME TIME." We needed a grocery store run...I usually hate going to the grocery, but thought for some reason it could be relaxing. It was double coupon day which is important. I went to the garage to get into the car, and two of the dogs escaped. DH said," take them with you." I agreeed. So I go to the local Pick-n-Save....Where my DD works, and was working at the time. I had just grabbed my cart and I heard a car alarm going off. Ug, sure enough it was mine. I turned it off. I had more shopping than just a few things. I've got the coupon binder open on the top of the cart where a child would sit..I am beginning to strole up and down the isles...I am pondering what steak to get because, DH said he wanted steaks tonight...no good deals on them. Over the loud speaker of the grocery, "The owner of a silver Scion...your alarm is going off." "Oh shit, that is me." I park my cart in the middle of the meat isle, and go turn off the car alarm alarm. I go back and finish my shopping...thank GOD I did not see DD. I always seem to have the most stupid moments at the store where she works.
There was the dill drama of Aug 2010... I was trying to get dill out of the bucket it was in and...It was all falling all over...something out of an, "I love Lucy" episode. People were staring, veering carts away, I left a big dill mess on the floor, and when I got to the counter I sd "I'm so n so's mom....The guy said, "I KNOW" I responded, "Please don't tell her about the dill mess."
So now I had finished the shopping, and was loading the car. People that are also on the way out are telling me, "Your alarm was going off." I sd, "I know." So as I turn to put the cart in the cart corral...the puppy...a very strong willed girl, makes a break for it. I chase her around the grocery parking lot, finally tackle her...pick her up shove her back in the car..and just sigh. Another woman passing by did complement me on the take down.
I fished out the Gatorade from the bag, lit up a Marlboro Light 100, sat for a minuet or so, and realized no "ME TIME" today.
SO I was probably, the WAY overprotective mom last night. He called, and checked in...sd, "He was hanging w/friends after school." I of course, asked who, where, when, and what. He happened to stop by home...I was in the midst of canning more stuff. He sd he just came to get something. I went out side to "visit" interrogate his friends; Several boys, and 1 girl. I asked who the driver was...someone I had never met. I also noticed that one of his friends that I really don't care for was there. I told him I was not really ok with the situation. I really think that kid is bad news.
I let him go with the condition he had to check in every couple hours. They were going to a bonfire, at one of the kid's houses. I called him a couple of hours later..they were still out driving. I really wanted to go pick him up...in fact I, threatened I would. I let him stay. I did however demand the address...and that a parent would be there. I KNOW when I was his age I did a bunch of stupid things. I am not naive either...I do expect my kids to experiment with alcohol, and drugs. I do also believe it is MY JOB TO KEEP THEM ALIVE!
Ug I don't know. He is on the way to getting his driver's license. Yet he has no job. I know for a fact that at his dad's house he will not be able to get a license until he can cover his insurance. YET he seems to have no real desire for a job....Well maybe kind of, but not really. Yes, we do live in a small town. BUT when we had a bit of a heart to heart today...I suggested, he walk up, and down the main street...which is called MAIN St...yes small town...and just go business to business...he said, "No...he was tired, his calves hurt from karate, he needed some "chill" time." Funny thing was, he was fine to hang with friends last night. His face had scratches, I asked, "what happened to your face?" He Said, " it was basketball." So again not in so much pain, or too tired to play ball.
ANYWAY, I had been cleaning the house...I needed some "ME TIME." We needed a grocery store run...I usually hate going to the grocery, but thought for some reason it could be relaxing. It was double coupon day which is important. I went to the garage to get into the car, and two of the dogs escaped. DH said," take them with you." I agreeed. So I go to the local Pick-n-Save....Where my DD works, and was working at the time. I had just grabbed my cart and I heard a car alarm going off. Ug, sure enough it was mine. I turned it off. I had more shopping than just a few things. I've got the coupon binder open on the top of the cart where a child would sit..I am beginning to strole up and down the isles...I am pondering what steak to get because, DH said he wanted steaks tonight...no good deals on them. Over the loud speaker of the grocery, "The owner of a silver Scion...your alarm is going off." "Oh shit, that is me." I park my cart in the middle of the meat isle, and go turn off the car alarm alarm. I go back and finish my shopping...thank GOD I did not see DD. I always seem to have the most stupid moments at the store where she works.
There was the dill drama of Aug 2010... I was trying to get dill out of the bucket it was in and...It was all falling all over...something out of an, "I love Lucy" episode. People were staring, veering carts away, I left a big dill mess on the floor, and when I got to the counter I sd "I'm so n so's mom....The guy said, "I KNOW" I responded, "Please don't tell her about the dill mess."
So now I had finished the shopping, and was loading the car. People that are also on the way out are telling me, "Your alarm was going off." I sd, "I know." So as I turn to put the cart in the cart corral...the puppy...a very strong willed girl, makes a break for it. I chase her around the grocery parking lot, finally tackle her...pick her up shove her back in the car..and just sigh. Another woman passing by did complement me on the take down.
I fished out the Gatorade from the bag, lit up a Marlboro Light 100, sat for a minuet or so, and realized no "ME TIME" today.
Friday, September 24, 2010
I am Running out of Jars!
I have a ton more so say about jail...I spent a whole lot longer than two days in the years to follow. I had extended stays on 3 different occasions.
I have to be completely honest, I am just not ready to share all of that. I thought I could, but not now, just not today. For some reason today the words on that just don't flow.
I am in the midst of making homemade soup...so cool to be able to pluck stuff that you have grown, and put it right into the pot. Some great sense of accomplishment, a sense of satisfaction. Maybe even the raw thought, "Me grow food." some throw back from the beginning of man.
I have continued to do more canning, and will do more today. It's like maybe enough already. I am sure that I could help all of the neighbors to exist on canned goods if there was ever any kind of disaster.
I am so waiting for a job. I guess that is why I put all of my nervous energy in to the canning, and food. I hope one will come through soon, because I am running out of jars.
I have to be completely honest, I am just not ready to share all of that. I thought I could, but not now, just not today. For some reason today the words on that just don't flow.
I am in the midst of making homemade soup...so cool to be able to pluck stuff that you have grown, and put it right into the pot. Some great sense of accomplishment, a sense of satisfaction. Maybe even the raw thought, "Me grow food." some throw back from the beginning of man.
I have continued to do more canning, and will do more today. It's like maybe enough already. I am sure that I could help all of the neighbors to exist on canned goods if there was ever any kind of disaster.
I am so waiting for a job. I guess that is why I put all of my nervous energy in to the canning, and food. I hope one will come through soon, because I am running out of jars.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Ok so Let's Talk About JAIL
OK so this is so VERY hard for me. I was so stupid, so very stupid.
I am not really sure how to start. It was all so very stupid.
It makes me sad..., and so embarrassed. So, I moved out, because I was engaged. My "roomie", asked, "are you for sure?" I sd "YES". ( YES I had a roommate at 30 while living in NYC) It probably sounds strange to most, but most single ppl in NYC have roommates.
I sd, "for sure." The truth was..I I was not sure. My fiance, was divorced , and then his ex-wife killed herself...overdose.So now there was a boy...at the time around 7.
The child was so needy, he made me feel awkward around my own children...like it was a weird competition.
It was so hard because my kids were flying back and fourth...and then I was "mom" to his kid. There were issues with his child, and my kids. I felt like I would have to ignore my own kids to pay attention to the child with the dead mom.
I don't know exactly what happened or what went on in my brain. I just was not OK with my attention being diverted from my own kids to his.
I think I probably self-sabotaged. I, after a great sales day, I went out for drinks...I "parked" my car on the lawn. That was the end of that relationship.
It felt at times I had to pay more attention to the kid with the dead mom. Then my own kids.
I don't know exactly what happened or what went on in my brain. I just was not OK with my attention being diverted from my own kids to his.
Oh so now I moved back with my roomie...but only for a short time. She and her Hubby bought a condo. It was OK...It gave me a chance to find an apt...and I did in Queens.
Hence the following story...
I guess I will start at the beginning. Well my first DUI was in NYC. It was probably pretty clear at that point that I had an issues with booze. I had just moved out from being a roommate with a very good friend I had lived with for 4 years. She was such an amazing friend, I feel so horrible now for not keeping in touch. There were so many times she helped me in paying for flights back n fourth.I always felt horrible in asking her to help me . She ALWAYS helped. No questions asked. She let me use her car....I am so very grateful. I am so sorry we have lost touch.
Anyhow, When I was visiting her to hang out..I had drank a ton..and then on my way to Queens..were I then lived...my cell phone rang...in trying to grab it..it slipped under my foot...I took out 3 parked cars.
I spent the next 2 days in JAIL. In BROOKLYN... scary as hell...the worst part was, that I so needed to be arranged by Sat night. If ya don't see the judge on Sat...ya won't until Monday. Well Monday, I was supposed to be getting an award for being top sales person for ADT. OUI! Oh the girls in the holding cell were the WORST! Acting up, being jackasses...basically, pissing off the guards...AND the guard threatened if ya don't behave, " you can sit for a few days" I was pissed off and terrified. Oh and on an aside, I was one of the ONLY "white girls there" packed in like sardines...oh wearing heels, and nice jewelery.....I was so a target. Thank GOD...there was a VERY large black woman that had my back...I don't know why...but she told the rest to leave me alone..."She is not like us. Let her be. " I was grateful at that moment. And also VERY afraid when she left ahead of me. I was lucky to have a mat....to sleep on...sadly I had the spot that they allowed me was in front of the toilet.
Well that was my first time in jail...I swore I would NEVER be there again...sadly I was mistaken....I think that is good for today.
I am not really sure how to start. It was all so very stupid.
It makes me sad..., and so embarrassed. So, I moved out, because I was engaged. My "roomie", asked, "are you for sure?" I sd "YES". ( YES I had a roommate at 30 while living in NYC) It probably sounds strange to most, but most single ppl in NYC have roommates.
I sd, "for sure." The truth was..I I was not sure. My fiance, was divorced , and then his ex-wife killed herself...overdose.So now there was a boy...at the time around 7.
The child was so needy, he made me feel awkward around my own children...like it was a weird competition.
It was so hard because my kids were flying back and fourth...and then I was "mom" to his kid. There were issues with his child, and my kids. I felt like I would have to ignore my own kids to pay attention to the child with the dead mom.
I don't know exactly what happened or what went on in my brain. I just was not OK with my attention being diverted from my own kids to his.
I think I probably self-sabotaged. I, after a great sales day, I went out for drinks...I "parked" my car on the lawn. That was the end of that relationship.
It felt at times I had to pay more attention to the kid with the dead mom. Then my own kids.
I don't know exactly what happened or what went on in my brain. I just was not OK with my attention being diverted from my own kids to his.
Oh so now I moved back with my roomie...but only for a short time. She and her Hubby bought a condo. It was OK...It gave me a chance to find an apt...and I did in Queens.
Hence the following story...
I guess I will start at the beginning. Well my first DUI was in NYC. It was probably pretty clear at that point that I had an issues with booze. I had just moved out from being a roommate with a very good friend I had lived with for 4 years. She was such an amazing friend, I feel so horrible now for not keeping in touch. There were so many times she helped me in paying for flights back n fourth.I always felt horrible in asking her to help me . She ALWAYS helped. No questions asked. She let me use her car....I am so very grateful. I am so sorry we have lost touch.
Anyhow, When I was visiting her to hang out..I had drank a ton..and then on my way to Queens..were I then lived...my cell phone rang...in trying to grab it..it slipped under my foot...I took out 3 parked cars.
I spent the next 2 days in JAIL. In BROOKLYN... scary as hell...the worst part was, that I so needed to be arranged by Sat night. If ya don't see the judge on Sat...ya won't until Monday. Well Monday, I was supposed to be getting an award for being top sales person for ADT. OUI! Oh the girls in the holding cell were the WORST! Acting up, being jackasses...basically, pissing off the guards...AND the guard threatened if ya don't behave, " you can sit for a few days" I was pissed off and terrified. Oh and on an aside, I was one of the ONLY "white girls there" packed in like sardines...oh wearing heels, and nice jewelery.....I was so a target. Thank GOD...there was a VERY large black woman that had my back...I don't know why...but she told the rest to leave me alone..."She is not like us. Let her be. " I was grateful at that moment. And also VERY afraid when she left ahead of me. I was lucky to have a mat....to sleep on...sadly I had the spot that they allowed me was in front of the toilet.
Well that was my first time in jail...I swore I would NEVER be there again...sadly I was mistaken....I think that is good for today.
No Clever Title!
I was just looking at my blog "stats" I was AMAZED! in what...I guess about a month, I have nearly 1200 hits. Wow..that is so neat. I had no idea that what I had to say was so entertaining, amusing, or informative; Well...possibly it is not. Although, I don't think my husband had the free time on his hands to hit the site that often.
It is really neat for me to hear that someone has been reading it. I am always surprised when someone mentions it to me.
It truly was meant to be more of a diary...a way to get crap out of my head. It is just so much neater that someone else reads it. I will always keep it "real" so some content might not be for everyone, but if I can help someone with my experiences...or at least
sometimes get a laugh...the blog is so worth it.
I only wish I had great stuff to say every day...but some days, I just don't
Thanks to all that have visited, please stop back.
It is really neat for me to hear that someone has been reading it. I am always surprised when someone mentions it to me.
It truly was meant to be more of a diary...a way to get crap out of my head. It is just so much neater that someone else reads it. I will always keep it "real" so some content might not be for everyone, but if I can help someone with my experiences...or at least
sometimes get a laugh...the blog is so worth it.
I only wish I had great stuff to say every day...but some days, I just don't
Thanks to all that have visited, please stop back.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
OH the Master Bathroom!
OK so why is it that the sanctuary is the last to be cleaned EVER?! I will clean the "main floor" ALWAYS...the upstairs hallway...sure...but why is it the place where I CALL HOME is the last to be cleaned?
I wish I knew...ya would think that that would be the first thing cleaned. But, no the last! Always!\
Why I wonder? Is it that I care more about what other's think? I would like to believe no..hence the power washing....but I guess I do care.
I guess I do care...that is why my ground floor is USUALLY very clean. But the MASTER BATH is almost never clean....kind of dumb.
It is the one room that hubby and I use EVERY DAY...Just had to put that out there.
I wish I knew...ya would think that that would be the first thing cleaned. But, no the last! Always!\
Why I wonder? Is it that I care more about what other's think? I would like to believe no..hence the power washing....but I guess I do care.
I guess I do care...that is why my ground floor is USUALLY very clean. But the MASTER BATH is almost never clean....kind of dumb.
It is the one room that hubby and I use EVERY DAY...Just had to put that out there.
Floor Drains
OK, so I think the Phlebotomy interview went well. I guess I will know for sure in about a week...they have other interviews going on until Friday, but also have more than one position to fill. I will say that I HATE those interview questions like..."If we hire you, what do you have to offer the company?" I mean, duh...Does anyone answer that question poorly? or this one..."If I call your former employers, what would they say about you? I swear just one time when I really did not want the job, I want to go on an iinterview and say something like.."Well my former employers are not able to talk to you because, I locked them into my basement." What a stupid question.
BLAH BLAH
Anyhow, I love my pets, but the pee on the floor is getting so annoying. I swear...there is no rhyme or reason. They can go 10 hours and nothing, but hubby fed and walked them at 5am, when I went to get coffee at 6am pee.....ARG. Hubby and I have decided if we are ever fortunate enough to build a home, we will go with cement floors, and hose spigots(kinda like central vac...but hose attachments). A drain in every room.
They are not sick...we pay the vet's rent, I am sure. BUT ENOUGH already. We have one dog that is going on 18...she is the worst offender. She can't much see, can't hear, but other than that still kickn' it...well kicken' it and peeing. And then the puppy...almost a year. I think she thinks well #1 pees on the floor that must be the program.
Oh well, off to the dog park to make sure they pee, and poop.
BLAH BLAH
Anyhow, I love my pets, but the pee on the floor is getting so annoying. I swear...there is no rhyme or reason. They can go 10 hours and nothing, but hubby fed and walked them at 5am, when I went to get coffee at 6am pee.....ARG. Hubby and I have decided if we are ever fortunate enough to build a home, we will go with cement floors, and hose spigots(kinda like central vac...but hose attachments). A drain in every room.
They are not sick...we pay the vet's rent, I am sure. BUT ENOUGH already. We have one dog that is going on 18...she is the worst offender. She can't much see, can't hear, but other than that still kickn' it...well kicken' it and peeing. And then the puppy...almost a year. I think she thinks well #1 pees on the floor that must be the program.
Oh well, off to the dog park to make sure they pee, and poop.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
NOT PREACHY..INSPIRED by CHRIST!
Ok well, yes I cheated a bit, I had to condense my last few days of thoughts into today.
I had to tell those stories to tell THIS one. Remember from the beginning, I said I would talk about being a drunk, my kids, my relationships, AND my journey with Christ!.
OK so now is some, "Christ" talk! Ok so common' ya all that are freaked out....I won't burn your eyes out...I promise! Those that are with me, Thank YOU.!
Look it is like this, I have been through the mill. I have been VERY rich, and VERY poor. I have been so VERY lost...just wondering why I am here...why do I exist (especially when my life has been so fucked up?)
I so don't have the answers to all of this, but I KNOW that I just know that EVERYTHING will be ok...don't know why, or how. To be honest, I never have known how it works. I so know that when I was single after 9/11....I had no income, I had an agency that left me high n dry to the tune of 50k, I had no clue how I would manage. Some how it just did....I am quite sure at this point it was not me...it was faith. To be honest there was no possible way it should have worked EVER...but it ALWAYS did. At that time, I believed....but not really.
Oh I know some of u guys think I'm, "all( khumbaya()sp?)...maybe I am. I will never preach...All I will say that Christ has helped me. Oh and I have a great sex life....well I did still say I would curse, and talk about sex.
I had to tell those stories to tell THIS one. Remember from the beginning, I said I would talk about being a drunk, my kids, my relationships, AND my journey with Christ!.
OK so now is some, "Christ" talk! Ok so common' ya all that are freaked out....I won't burn your eyes out...I promise! Those that are with me, Thank YOU.!
Look it is like this, I have been through the mill. I have been VERY rich, and VERY poor. I have been so VERY lost...just wondering why I am here...why do I exist (especially when my life has been so fucked up?)
I so don't have the answers to all of this, but I KNOW that I just know that EVERYTHING will be ok...don't know why, or how. To be honest, I never have known how it works. I so know that when I was single after 9/11....I had no income, I had an agency that left me high n dry to the tune of 50k, I had no clue how I would manage. Some how it just did....I am quite sure at this point it was not me...it was faith. To be honest there was no possible way it should have worked EVER...but it ALWAYS did. At that time, I believed....but not really.
Oh I know some of u guys think I'm, "all( khumbaya()sp?)...maybe I am. I will never preach...All I will say that Christ has helped me. Oh and I have a great sex life....well I did still say I would curse, and talk about sex.
Waiting to be Inspired.
Ok. So I know it has been a few days. Let me see..I have gone on my Walgreen's interview, which was not much of an interview. It so happens that Walgreen's "policy" on interviewing new ppl, is that a specific store interviews for the surrounding areas. Which is new since I have been there...again over 15 years ago. That store here happens to be the Lake Geneva store, WHICH VERY ironically, happens to be the last store I managed. Although the store is at a new(different) location...some of the players are the same.
I also will fully admit that I called a few ppl from my Walgreen's past to help, which is why I was probably interviewed the next day. So I get there and, well...(Walgreen's although VERY corporate, is also very gossipy) Apparently, some were waiting, and had heard. They announced that the 10:30 interview was there, and then poof....the ppl I had formerly managed, nearly 18 years ago are there. Ug. On woman..the former "bookkeeper"...whose job is no more with the help of computers, and well..mostly computers. She came up and said you don't recognize me...I so did...I just did not know what to say...she was like..., "you look good." Well I did but that is besides the point. I responded that she did as well. I also sd, that I had shopped there, and another cashier...who must be close to 80 now that I managed had recently checked me out there...Go GIRL.
Anyhow, back to the interview....OH SHIT...so the manager that is going to interview is the former assistant manager from Burlington...gosh...well, I am a coupon queen, and it seemed that when EVER there was a coupon problem, HE was called up to the register. You must imagine that when I saw the manager come out of the back to get me...AND it was HIM...WHOLY CRAP! He saw me, and sd..., "Do you remember me?" I said oh YES..I do...,Burlington...right?"
Ok so I had spoken with the former employees I had managed...now I am applying for a minimum wage job..After haveing 10 years experience, managed others, and trained EVERYONE in Southern WI on the whole scan system....which is of course, on my resume. In fact, I think the exact line was I was one of the youngest assistant manager's in the nation at 19, which was the truth.
Ok so back to the "interview?" So dude from Burlington...which is now in Lake Geneva, sd...."Have you filled out an application?" ..."NO", I sd.....So he sat me at a computer to fill out an application. Which I did, not much of a problem, UNTIL it got to the part where it asks..."DO you have any relatives that work for Walgreen's?" Well my ex-hubby does. So now I have to decided is that a relative or not? I went with yes, and filled out the form. There was no check mark for ex-husband...so I sd "other"
I then had to complete a "math" portion of the test...AGAIN I thought, REALLY?! but I did. I waited for about 10 Min's after I was done with the forms. No one came, so I went out into the store to seek out the manager...the one from Burlington, who I am SURE he thinks I am major pain in the ass, b/c I require rain checks..blah blah.
He asked, "Are you done?" I said, "yes". He said," WITH EVERYTHING...THE MATH?!" I sd, "I believe so?. ...he doubled checked, and sd, "OK, call ya Monday." I sd, "Don't ya want to ask me ANYTHING?" He said, "NO" No handshake, no card exchange no nothing. SO I guess it will be either really good or really bad. Like the ppl I worked for in the past count, or really...IDK. So I guess I will wait and see, I mean really, what other choice do I have.
Ok so I had to tell you that story to tell you this one....
So funny how things work AMAZING the day I had decided that I just needed a job, any job, and had set up an interview, THEN I got a call for an interview for phlebotomy. So good news, I have a phone interview on Monday, and a face-to face on Tuesday.
I wonder why it works that way. I have more to say on that, but it will be a different post. I do think at times GOD has a GREAT sense of humor. Now with that being said, I sitll have no job, and I am willing to do both...after all I have a chile in college, and I could use both. Not for nothing, I REALLY hope the Phleb thing comes through. If for nothing else to get my foot in the door.
I do have some more funny things to share...but I think that is all for the moment.
I also will fully admit that I called a few ppl from my Walgreen's past to help, which is why I was probably interviewed the next day. So I get there and, well...(Walgreen's although VERY corporate, is also very gossipy) Apparently, some were waiting, and had heard. They announced that the 10:30 interview was there, and then poof....the ppl I had formerly managed, nearly 18 years ago are there. Ug. On woman..the former "bookkeeper"...whose job is no more with the help of computers, and well..mostly computers. She came up and said you don't recognize me...I so did...I just did not know what to say...she was like..., "you look good." Well I did but that is besides the point. I responded that she did as well. I also sd, that I had shopped there, and another cashier...who must be close to 80 now that I managed had recently checked me out there...Go GIRL.
Anyhow, back to the interview....OH SHIT...so the manager that is going to interview is the former assistant manager from Burlington...gosh...well, I am a coupon queen, and it seemed that when EVER there was a coupon problem, HE was called up to the register. You must imagine that when I saw the manager come out of the back to get me...AND it was HIM...WHOLY CRAP! He saw me, and sd..., "Do you remember me?" I said oh YES..I do...,Burlington...right?"
Ok so I had spoken with the former employees I had managed...now I am applying for a minimum wage job..After haveing 10 years experience, managed others, and trained EVERYONE in Southern WI on the whole scan system....which is of course, on my resume. In fact, I think the exact line was I was one of the youngest assistant manager's in the nation at 19, which was the truth.
Ok so back to the "interview?" So dude from Burlington...which is now in Lake Geneva, sd...."Have you filled out an application?" ..."NO", I sd.....So he sat me at a computer to fill out an application. Which I did, not much of a problem, UNTIL it got to the part where it asks..."DO you have any relatives that work for Walgreen's?" Well my ex-hubby does. So now I have to decided is that a relative or not? I went with yes, and filled out the form. There was no check mark for ex-husband...so I sd "other"
I then had to complete a "math" portion of the test...AGAIN I thought, REALLY?! but I did. I waited for about 10 Min's after I was done with the forms. No one came, so I went out into the store to seek out the manager...the one from Burlington, who I am SURE he thinks I am major pain in the ass, b/c I require rain checks..blah blah.
He asked, "Are you done?" I said, "yes". He said," WITH EVERYTHING...THE MATH?!" I sd, "I believe so?. ...he doubled checked, and sd, "OK, call ya Monday." I sd, "Don't ya want to ask me ANYTHING?" He said, "NO" No handshake, no card exchange no nothing. SO I guess it will be either really good or really bad. Like the ppl I worked for in the past count, or really...IDK. So I guess I will wait and see, I mean really, what other choice do I have.
Ok so I had to tell you that story to tell you this one....
So funny how things work AMAZING the day I had decided that I just needed a job, any job, and had set up an interview, THEN I got a call for an interview for phlebotomy. So good news, I have a phone interview on Monday, and a face-to face on Tuesday.
I wonder why it works that way. I have more to say on that, but it will be a different post. I do think at times GOD has a GREAT sense of humor. Now with that being said, I sitll have no job, and I am willing to do both...after all I have a chile in college, and I could use both. Not for nothing, I REALLY hope the Phleb thing comes through. If for nothing else to get my foot in the door.
I do have some more funny things to share...but I think that is all for the moment.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Once Upon a Time
No one ever said my life was never INTERESTING!
Before the modeling, before the stripping, before I ever had a clue.... I had worked for Walgreen's since I was 15. The first job I ever had. It was very neat in that they would easily transfer me to the next state (when in college)
Wait hold up .... I had to prove myself a whole lot
While working in my original store in Superior, WI,I was a cashier. The next step was to stock shelves. AH so a pricing gun...sorry for those of you before scanning....the gun was the rule. The "guys" at the store at that time told me if I wanted to be a "stocker" I needed to grab toilet paper boxes off the top rack....pull a bail of the boxer, and price very fast....not to mention they ALWAYS gave me the broken pricing gun(which I had to fix to keep up). Well I did. I had no problem. And let me remind you all at the time I was probably about 105lbs...or some might say a buck' o 5.
I did it ALWAYS. Which made me very wanted in the WALLY world. I was able to transfer to Moorhead, MN...back to Superior/Duluth(I worked for 2 stores), to Madison, WI.
Where I choose to quit school, met my ex-hubby who was on Walgreen's scholarship (for RPH), and then I started tp manage stores. The store I was managing in Madison, WI was sold and closed. The University owned the property. They built a new business school there...a bit ironic...but it looks amazing. Anyway I was at the age of 20 given the job of "scan coordinator" (in 1990) when the stores went to scanning. A HUGE responsibility for someone of my age.
I ended the project, went on to manage in Racine, WI...where ex-hubby was and we both worked for the same company. Uh I tell ya this we eventually worked for the same job...bad on the marriage.
We also had a couple of kids at the time.
I had tell you that story to tell ya this one....
Mama needs a job, an although I will still apply to phlebotomists' jobs
I need to work now!. I do have a child in college.
Ok, after a long morning of applying, to jobs in my field I looked on line..oh Christ long story short...I have an interview tomorrow am with Walgreen's in Lake Geneva....the last place I managed. Funny how things work....Thank GOD I never burned any bridges...so humble...ouch!...BUT wish me luck!
Before the modeling, before the stripping, before I ever had a clue.... I had worked for Walgreen's since I was 15. The first job I ever had. It was very neat in that they would easily transfer me to the next state (when in college)
Wait hold up .... I had to prove myself a whole lot
While working in my original store in Superior, WI,I was a cashier. The next step was to stock shelves. AH so a pricing gun...sorry for those of you before scanning....the gun was the rule. The "guys" at the store at that time told me if I wanted to be a "stocker" I needed to grab toilet paper boxes off the top rack....pull a bail of the boxer, and price very fast....not to mention they ALWAYS gave me the broken pricing gun(which I had to fix to keep up). Well I did. I had no problem. And let me remind you all at the time I was probably about 105lbs...or some might say a buck' o 5.
I did it ALWAYS. Which made me very wanted in the WALLY world. I was able to transfer to Moorhead, MN...back to Superior/Duluth(I worked for 2 stores), to Madison, WI.
Where I choose to quit school, met my ex-hubby who was on Walgreen's scholarship (for RPH), and then I started tp manage stores. The store I was managing in Madison, WI was sold and closed. The University owned the property. They built a new business school there...a bit ironic...but it looks amazing. Anyway I was at the age of 20 given the job of "scan coordinator" (in 1990) when the stores went to scanning. A HUGE responsibility for someone of my age.
I ended the project, went on to manage in Racine, WI...where ex-hubby was and we both worked for the same company. Uh I tell ya this we eventually worked for the same job...bad on the marriage.
We also had a couple of kids at the time.
I had tell you that story to tell ya this one....
Mama needs a job, an although I will still apply to phlebotomists' jobs
I need to work now!. I do have a child in college.
Ok, after a long morning of applying, to jobs in my field I looked on line..oh Christ long story short...I have an interview tomorrow am with Walgreen's in Lake Geneva....the last place I managed. Funny how things work....Thank GOD I never burned any bridges...so humble...ouch!...BUT wish me luck!
Still Figuring the Blog...AND SO MUCH MORE
OK so I had a way better blog than what was posted yesterday..I kind of lost it in cyber-space....when I found it I could not make corrections....so I am still trying to figure this whole thing out a bit.
I REALLY do know the difference between by, and buy...man stuff like that makes me look stupid...I think I must be a better proof-reader. I struggle between being too careful, and editing, as I believe a blog should not be too thought out, proof-read, and revised.
I will work on that as I go
I also have photos I would like to post...and I am trying to figure that out as well.
I want to say a BIG thanks for those of you that have been following. I have heard from ppl here, and there the last week, that they have been following my blog. They say they enjoy it.That is so cool! I must admit the whole reason for it was to work through things in my head. I have a great girlfriend from high school that asked me, "Do you really want EVERYONE to know 'these things'." I said, "my blog is for two things..1 ME...I am a bit selfish, 2 If I can help ANYONE along the way....GREAT." Besides any of my really dark times anyone can find on the Internet by a simple search....JAIL...SO , I would rather tell my own story. Mostly there are some things that a person just must say out loud...the kind of things that keep you up at night. The thoughts that just run through your brain. It's a really cool feeling just just put it out there and own what I need to, and not be ashamed. It's freeing.
The whole point of the neighbor that...now has their house for sale, was not to be a jackass to them. It was not to create a scene. It was to let them know that....It does not hurt me to talk about me, it hurts me when you talk to my children, and ya really don't know me...AND if ya wanna play that game...I will not play. "Hold on let me do it for you," hence the yelling and cursing. It was really about taking back my power, AND not being bullied. There is no fear in the truth. Ya address it, be honest, and there is NOTHING else.
WELL the power washer pot thing is still VERY funny.
I REALLY do know the difference between by, and buy...man stuff like that makes me look stupid...I think I must be a better proof-reader. I struggle between being too careful, and editing, as I believe a blog should not be too thought out, proof-read, and revised.
I will work on that as I go
I also have photos I would like to post...and I am trying to figure that out as well.
I want to say a BIG thanks for those of you that have been following. I have heard from ppl here, and there the last week, that they have been following my blog. They say they enjoy it.That is so cool! I must admit the whole reason for it was to work through things in my head. I have a great girlfriend from high school that asked me, "Do you really want EVERYONE to know 'these things'." I said, "my blog is for two things..1 ME...I am a bit selfish, 2 If I can help ANYONE along the way....GREAT." Besides any of my really dark times anyone can find on the Internet by a simple search....JAIL...SO , I would rather tell my own story. Mostly there are some things that a person just must say out loud...the kind of things that keep you up at night. The thoughts that just run through your brain. It's a really cool feeling just just put it out there and own what I need to, and not be ashamed. It's freeing.
The whole point of the neighbor that...now has their house for sale, was not to be a jackass to them. It was not to create a scene. It was to let them know that....It does not hurt me to talk about me, it hurts me when you talk to my children, and ya really don't know me...AND if ya wanna play that game...I will not play. "Hold on let me do it for you," hence the yelling and cursing. It was really about taking back my power, AND not being bullied. There is no fear in the truth. Ya address it, be honest, and there is NOTHING else.
WELL the power washer pot thing is still VERY funny.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
NO JAM FOR YOU!
Running out the Neighbor!
OK so this is a bit complex, hurtful, and funny at the same time.
I must start this story buy saying that when my hubby and I moved back from out East, we mad a conscience choice to be as close to the kid's dad as we could. Well, when you are in a sleepy town that has NO stoplights... OK maybe 2...the options are limited.
The kids' dad and I had a VERY nice home. DH and I found a really nice home as well.. It was one neighborhood over a few street
It was the TOTAL package, The elite neighborhood in the town...same bus stop as the kids' dad...6 blocks from each other.
(Pre-divorce)There were times, when the kids' dad and I would go for a walk, and had a dream of living there.(HERE) Now I did live there.
We did have good times, not all bad. I need every divorced parent, and child to know it was not all just bad...There were many good times.
My move was not to live in THAT neighborhood, but it was the only option. To be quite honest the ONLY reason I lived so close WAS only for the kids.
At the end of the day it was a choice I made about my children. The main reason was so the kids would be close enough to share a bus stop, and go back n fourth between houses.
Well, I had to tell you that story, to tell ya the next one.
Ok so there is a neighbor...that thinks we don't belong here...we don't drive the right cars(no BMW or Mercedes). The woman was subdivision President for years.
I had been away for a girls weekend. a few years ago....He(DH) went to the subdivision meeting. I SD don't bother...He went, and became the subdivision..Secretary.I sd he would be sorry. Neighborhood politics, crap that is worse that running for Senate. So DH was Secretary for a couple years.
They asked him to be Pres".I sd u did what?" I also sd I will not field any calls, and not deal with ANY of the neighbors' phone calls"...You chose it u deal..... He did not.listen...he accepted. OMG. The bitch that was the former Pres...( first house built) When on to say a couple weeks later... "what a looser his wife was(ME) ..ya know being a dunk and all."(it was worse than that) that was about 2 weeks after he had signed up.
Thank GOD I married someone that had a clue....That is all I will say about that.
My hubby Immediately resigned.
Well the neighbors wanted to know WHY?....DH sent a letter explaining that NO ONE would talk about his wife/family that way....
Now... our next door neighbor is Pres.( also kind of our adoptive parents)'. The same woman would bitch about out dogs running loose. AND they Don't! I must say on occasion,...when I am taking them for a swim or, to run in the woods they have escaped. But I am RIGHT there and ALWAYS respective of all.
No one else has an issue...
I will also say that there are many dogs in the neighborhood. And that my DH goes once a week and cleans up poop on the general grounds that is so not our dog's...He just does. It doesn't matter who's poop.
So BITCH called the police on me....now this happened to be a day that I was having to deal with my dad's VERY advanced Altz.... I will fully admit to being in bed crying.
That same day she called the cops in Waterford, and gave them a poop in a bag...I guess from her yard. ,and told them to come to my home. Sadly my son knew why I was upset.
Yes, the towns "finest" have nothing better to do then deal with mystery poop....well probably not, but that is besides the point.
My boy answered the door....to be met by "the neighbor, and police" Before she called the police my DS had been at home...and KNEW no one was off the leash or "running around the neighborhood." She had already SCREAMED at DS..
This woman proceeded to tell my son what a LOOSER I was, and to further lambaste me. Oh, and I was the "Town Drunk"... the fact of the mater is I never have drank in town since my ex husband.(around 2000) .It is frustrating that she continues to bitch to my neighbors.
She is right I am a drunk, but am constantly addressing the issue and have been sober for almost a year now. Sadly I was sober for a couple years before that, but messed up....(a story for another day) Not that it is any business of anyone.
This woman went on a blitz, bitching to EVERYONE(in the neighborhood) that I was a drunk, and I had served jail time. AGAIN I live in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in town...not by choice, but by convince.
GREAT! I know I am a drunk, as well , do my children, and husband. Actually not such a big secret...I admit it EVERY DAY
I was VERY pissed...I slept on it for days. I finally told my hubby, and son I need to confront her....The march was on. I walked, up rang her bell, her hubby cane to the door. I asked for HER, I had my hubby , and son behind me like Hench men.
I asked her what she sd what she did to my son....She never denied it...she told me I was crazy and to "get off of her property."
Even when my son said you sd...blah...she just told me I was "crazy" and to get of her property.
long story longer...in this VERY exclusive neighborhood where I live...with DS, and Hubby behind me, I yelled at the top of my lungs...on a very nice spring/summer day when everyone was outside....," Let me save you the trouble...I AM A DRUNK, I AM A FUCKING DRUNK!....OK so now that we are clear...I think we are done".
She again INSISTED I get of her property.
EVERYONE love us...well we give them veggies, and whatever I can.
OK so now the funny part...we are so not white trash, but what happens next is too funny to me. OK so remember last week when I was making jam, and canning...I had left some fruit on for a bit too long, and trashed a pot....
OK so DH sd take it out of the trash...I could try to power wash it. I fished it out of the trash...it soaked in the garage for about a week.
As DH was power washing the birdcage (blue/gold macaw). I sd, "oh the pan."...so DH the and I attempt the cleaning of the pan
So now we are in a u hold it...no u hold it battle. So he finally holds the pan, as I BLAST him...it was soo funny. Just as DD was pulling in from work, we traded. DD just shot a look...like my parents are dorks. Ok so just imagine this photo....in one of the most "exclusive" neighborhoods in the "throbbing metropolis" of Waterford....My DH is holding the pan that I burned fruit onto....while I have the power washer in hand...in the street...as that happens...the ppl that think the place is going to the slums, happen to drive by in their Mercedes.
Giving us the "low-brow" glare as they happen to pass by.
My response..."No Wonder why They are Moving?"
As DH and I continued to be "low-brow" falling on the driveway laughing.
All I have to say is EVERYONE else got jam, and pickles...."NO JAM 4 YOU!"
OK so this is a bit complex, hurtful, and funny at the same time.
I must start this story buy saying that when my hubby and I moved back from out East, we mad a conscience choice to be as close to the kid's dad as we could. Well, when you are in a sleepy town that has NO stoplights... OK maybe 2...the options are limited.
The kids' dad and I had a VERY nice home. DH and I found a really nice home as well.. It was one neighborhood over a few street
It was the TOTAL package, The elite neighborhood in the town...same bus stop as the kids' dad...6 blocks from each other.
(Pre-divorce)There were times, when the kids' dad and I would go for a walk, and had a dream of living there.(HERE) Now I did live there.
We did have good times, not all bad. I need every divorced parent, and child to know it was not all just bad...There were many good times.
My move was not to live in THAT neighborhood, but it was the only option. To be quite honest the ONLY reason I lived so close WAS only for the kids.
At the end of the day it was a choice I made about my children. The main reason was so the kids would be close enough to share a bus stop, and go back n fourth between houses.
Well, I had to tell you that story, to tell ya the next one.
Ok so there is a neighbor...that thinks we don't belong here...we don't drive the right cars(no BMW or Mercedes). The woman was subdivision President for years.
I had been away for a girls weekend. a few years ago....He(DH) went to the subdivision meeting. I SD don't bother...He went, and became the subdivision..Secretary.I sd he would be sorry. Neighborhood politics, crap that is worse that running for Senate. So DH was Secretary for a couple years.
They asked him to be Pres".I sd u did what?" I also sd I will not field any calls, and not deal with ANY of the neighbors' phone calls"...You chose it u deal..... He did not.listen...he accepted. OMG. The bitch that was the former Pres...( first house built) When on to say a couple weeks later... "what a looser his wife was(ME) ..ya know being a dunk and all."(it was worse than that) that was about 2 weeks after he had signed up.
Thank GOD I married someone that had a clue....That is all I will say about that.
My hubby Immediately resigned.
Well the neighbors wanted to know WHY?....DH sent a letter explaining that NO ONE would talk about his wife/family that way....
Now... our next door neighbor is Pres.( also kind of our adoptive parents)'. The same woman would bitch about out dogs running loose. AND they Don't! I must say on occasion,...when I am taking them for a swim or, to run in the woods they have escaped. But I am RIGHT there and ALWAYS respective of all.
No one else has an issue...
I will also say that there are many dogs in the neighborhood. And that my DH goes once a week and cleans up poop on the general grounds that is so not our dog's...He just does. It doesn't matter who's poop.
So BITCH called the police on me....now this happened to be a day that I was having to deal with my dad's VERY advanced Altz.... I will fully admit to being in bed crying.
That same day she called the cops in Waterford, and gave them a poop in a bag...I guess from her yard. ,and told them to come to my home. Sadly my son knew why I was upset.
Yes, the towns "finest" have nothing better to do then deal with mystery poop....well probably not, but that is besides the point.
My boy answered the door....to be met by "the neighbor, and police" Before she called the police my DS had been at home...and KNEW no one was off the leash or "running around the neighborhood." She had already SCREAMED at DS..
This woman proceeded to tell my son what a LOOSER I was, and to further lambaste me. Oh, and I was the "Town Drunk"... the fact of the mater is I never have drank in town since my ex husband.(around 2000) .It is frustrating that she continues to bitch to my neighbors.
She is right I am a drunk, but am constantly addressing the issue and have been sober for almost a year now. Sadly I was sober for a couple years before that, but messed up....(a story for another day) Not that it is any business of anyone.
This woman went on a blitz, bitching to EVERYONE(in the neighborhood) that I was a drunk, and I had served jail time. AGAIN I live in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in town...not by choice, but by convince.
GREAT! I know I am a drunk, as well , do my children, and husband. Actually not such a big secret...I admit it EVERY DAY
I was VERY pissed...I slept on it for days. I finally told my hubby, and son I need to confront her....The march was on. I walked, up rang her bell, her hubby cane to the door. I asked for HER, I had my hubby , and son behind me like Hench men.
I asked her what she sd what she did to my son....She never denied it...she told me I was crazy and to "get off of her property."
Even when my son said you sd...blah...she just told me I was "crazy" and to get of her property.
long story longer...in this VERY exclusive neighborhood where I live...with DS, and Hubby behind me, I yelled at the top of my lungs...on a very nice spring/summer day when everyone was outside....," Let me save you the trouble...I AM A DRUNK, I AM A FUCKING DRUNK!....OK so now that we are clear...I think we are done".
She again INSISTED I get of her property.
EVERYONE love us...well we give them veggies, and whatever I can.
OK so now the funny part...we are so not white trash, but what happens next is too funny to me. OK so remember last week when I was making jam, and canning...I had left some fruit on for a bit too long, and trashed a pot....
OK so DH sd take it out of the trash...I could try to power wash it. I fished it out of the trash...it soaked in the garage for about a week.
As DH was power washing the birdcage (blue/gold macaw). I sd, "oh the pan."...so DH the and I attempt the cleaning of the pan
So now we are in a u hold it...no u hold it battle. So he finally holds the pan, as I BLAST him...it was soo funny. Just as DD was pulling in from work, we traded. DD just shot a look...like my parents are dorks. Ok so just imagine this photo....in one of the most "exclusive" neighborhoods in the "throbbing metropolis" of Waterford....My DH is holding the pan that I burned fruit onto....while I have the power washer in hand...in the street...as that happens...the ppl that think the place is going to the slums, happen to drive by in their Mercedes.
Giving us the "low-brow" glare as they happen to pass by.
My response..."No Wonder why They are Moving?"
As DH and I continued to be "low-brow" falling on the driveway laughing.
All I have to say is EVERYONE else got jam, and pickles...."NO JAM 4 YOU!"
Please hold...just sd a wole lot...
So sorry, I think I just wrote 2 pages, (not couting words) as my DS does when he does homework..It will take me a bit to gather my thoughts AGAIN...Sorry, but the thoughts come as they come, and if there is a glitch, it is hard to get back to where I was.
Friday, September 10, 2010
I cry a lot the next few days.
I am so trying to be positive. I just can't help crying. Maybe I shouldn't. I know it was almost 9 years ago now.
9/11 just so affects me. I wish I could help it...I just can't.
Oh for the Love...I can't stop crying. I suppose that the fact that my daughter is going to get a tat later today should bug me. It so doesn't. I spoke with her on the phone a bit ago, she was trying to justify why she had the RIGHT to get a tat. Funny thing was that...I KNEW she could make her own choice. She IS so much more responsible than I was at that age.
She followed with a litany of reasons why she COULD get a tattoo. She never had to say a word. I am so proud of her...My only advice was to , "choose wisely." I KNOW she will.
9/11 just so affects me. I wish I could help it...I just can't.
Oh for the Love...I can't stop crying. I suppose that the fact that my daughter is going to get a tat later today should bug me. It so doesn't. I spoke with her on the phone a bit ago, she was trying to justify why she had the RIGHT to get a tat. Funny thing was that...I KNEW she could make her own choice. She IS so much more responsible than I was at that age.
She followed with a litany of reasons why she COULD get a tattoo. She never had to say a word. I am so proud of her...My only advice was to , "choose wisely." I KNOW she will.
DORK!
God,
Please help me...I am just one of yours.
Today I am very sad...I HATE tomorrow. Enough about that.
I did not go to a physical today, I just did not want to. The reason I had the physical scheduled was so I could go back to school,to" petition" for more ANOTHER degree,.
Sometimes I feel what is the point? I went to school, got top grades, TRYING to find a job.
I feel that my past drama (as a drunk) will always proceed me. Ug I HATE when u get to the part of the application...that asks," have u been arrested?" I have to say YES...3 TIMES.
Please help me...I am just one of yours.
Today I am very sad...I HATE tomorrow. Enough about that.
I did not go to a physical today, I just did not want to. The reason I had the physical scheduled was so I could go back to school,to" petition" for more ANOTHER degree,.
Sometimes I feel what is the point? I went to school, got top grades, TRYING to find a job.
I feel that my past drama (as a drunk) will always proceed me. Ug I HATE when u get to the part of the application...that asks," have u been arrested?" I have to say YES...3 TIMES.
The Chin Hair!!!!
OK so after being so morose last night I deiced to lighten up a bit..
I must also say I hate blogs in that, although u can spell check...I LOVE spell check...they are pretty much what is going on in your brain at that moment...which doesn't leave any revision time. So please pardon my mistakes..I am quite sure there will be more.
OK on to the chin hair...for my guy followers maybe not so interesting, but maybe insightful.
So why is it that women (ME) get one chin hair at ...about my age... AND when you get it it ALWAYS happens to be about and inch long when ya notice it. AND the only time ya notice it is when you look in the rear-view mirror of your car, while driving. It's like, "shit" I look in the mirror every day...I am fairly vain...hat to say it, but damn.."how did I miss that?"
The more annoying thing is I seem to miss it ALWAYS. Not once, or twice....EVERY TIME.
AND if there is one there must be more. I mean I do finally pull it out by the root...well after being totally distracted while driving and trying to pluck...(with no license). So if you pluck the root, finally after I have gotten home, and immediately run to my mirror and tweezers in hand...Shouldn't that be it?
I don't have a beard after all. Yet I go through this same process EVERY month.
I guess that is all I have to say about that.
I must also say I hate blogs in that, although u can spell check...I LOVE spell check...they are pretty much what is going on in your brain at that moment...which doesn't leave any revision time. So please pardon my mistakes..I am quite sure there will be more.
OK on to the chin hair...for my guy followers maybe not so interesting, but maybe insightful.
So why is it that women (ME) get one chin hair at ...about my age... AND when you get it it ALWAYS happens to be about and inch long when ya notice it. AND the only time ya notice it is when you look in the rear-view mirror of your car, while driving. It's like, "shit" I look in the mirror every day...I am fairly vain...hat to say it, but damn.."how did I miss that?"
The more annoying thing is I seem to miss it ALWAYS. Not once, or twice....EVERY TIME.
AND if there is one there must be more. I mean I do finally pull it out by the root...well after being totally distracted while driving and trying to pluck...(with no license). So if you pluck the root, finally after I have gotten home, and immediately run to my mirror and tweezers in hand...Shouldn't that be it?
I don't have a beard after all. Yet I go through this same process EVERY month.
I guess that is all I have to say about that.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I HATE....HATE...HATE 9/11
I was there...I saw it all first hand...there are no words to describe the horror. The smoldering... I saw EVERY DAY for 3 months every day I took the train from Brooklyn to Mahattan.
It was so hard for me especially, because I tried to start a new life. I was recently separated after a 9 year marriage.
I put my kids on the bus to school on Sept 4th 2001, and moved in with a friend in NYC(Brooklyn), I was a model, and it was "fashion week."
Everything went to shit. I had an agency that owed me 50k that closed their doors, and shut off phones. The January after.
Now I had moved to NYC, and was fucked(sorry mom). After some bar tendingi jobs...and knowing that I could not do that anymore(some patron would leave with a wine key in their eye)..I turned to sales.I did well....I think that is it for today.
It was so hard for me especially, because I tried to start a new life. I was recently separated after a 9 year marriage.
I put my kids on the bus to school on Sept 4th 2001, and moved in with a friend in NYC(Brooklyn), I was a model, and it was "fashion week."
Everything went to shit. I had an agency that owed me 50k that closed their doors, and shut off phones. The January after.
Now I had moved to NYC, and was fucked(sorry mom). After some bar tendingi jobs...and knowing that I could not do that anymore(some patron would leave with a wine key in their eye)..I turned to sales.I did well....I think that is it for today.
well balanced?
So sorry it has been days since I have posted. I am so sorry to all my fans(tongue in cheek). I feel like there has been not much to report since the FOS syndrome.
While I was VERY busy yesterday morning..I had some time to IM a friend with whom I played the second half of "Family Fude." I lost...so hard for me, I usually win. Anyhow, a friend from when I was a kid.Ya see my family was fortunate enough to have a "summer home" so we had summer friends, and "regular" friends. During the summer...wow great times...fun times.
There was a group of us that hung out....2 sisters, a girl down the road, a big brother that was not my own, and various others along the way.
OK I must say that the family that had the 2 girls and the big brother, were 2 doors down...but not really doors...hopped a couple of fences along the lakeside.
Good times...I tell ya I got in to trouble a lot...I feel like I was grounded most of my teenage years. I would be grounded to the yard...which included the dock...so my friends would come by in their boats...and talk to me on the dock. ALSO my mom was a HUGE Gardner...and I would have to help often in the garden. There was a fence on the side of our property, where my friends would walk by and call me "slave." So I would be weeding and harvesting while my friends that had "freedom" and walk by. Calling me "slave" as they passed by.
As an aside...I am also a HUGE Gardner, and I am proud to be so, and give my mom full credit for it.
Ok so on with the story. So at one point I had asked to go for pizza(there was a place about 5 miles from the cabin) Dad, sd NO! I sd, "ok I am just gonna go for a walk"....we walked a lot around the lake often...gone for hours...but we just walked...mostly.
I, of course, lied...went for pizza, ug my dad owned a roofing company...he had ladder racks on his truck...you could hear them coming from miles away. I had an, "oh shit" moment. I KNEW I was in trouble.
Mind you, I was only eating pizza, and soda. I tried to escape to the bathroom to hide..I heard my dad outside the door, "where is Ann?" Everyone played dumb...but no one thought to remove the glass of soda, or the plate where I had been sitting. I was stuck...UG I had to come out of the bathroom, and knew I was so BUSTED, I then slinked into the truck with the ladder racks, and was grounded AGAIN!
While I was VERY busy yesterday morning..I had some time to IM a friend with whom I played the second half of "Family Fude." I lost...so hard for me, I usually win. Anyhow, a friend from when I was a kid.Ya see my family was fortunate enough to have a "summer home" so we had summer friends, and "regular" friends. During the summer...wow great times...fun times.
There was a group of us that hung out....2 sisters, a girl down the road, a big brother that was not my own, and various others along the way.
OK I must say that the family that had the 2 girls and the big brother, were 2 doors down...but not really doors...hopped a couple of fences along the lakeside.
Good times...I tell ya I got in to trouble a lot...I feel like I was grounded most of my teenage years. I would be grounded to the yard...which included the dock...so my friends would come by in their boats...and talk to me on the dock. ALSO my mom was a HUGE Gardner...and I would have to help often in the garden. There was a fence on the side of our property, where my friends would walk by and call me "slave." So I would be weeding and harvesting while my friends that had "freedom" and walk by. Calling me "slave" as they passed by.
As an aside...I am also a HUGE Gardner, and I am proud to be so, and give my mom full credit for it.
Ok so on with the story. So at one point I had asked to go for pizza(there was a place about 5 miles from the cabin) Dad, sd NO! I sd, "ok I am just gonna go for a walk"....we walked a lot around the lake often...gone for hours...but we just walked...mostly.
I, of course, lied...went for pizza, ug my dad owned a roofing company...he had ladder racks on his truck...you could hear them coming from miles away. I had an, "oh shit" moment. I KNEW I was in trouble.
Mind you, I was only eating pizza, and soda. I tried to escape to the bathroom to hide..I heard my dad outside the door, "where is Ann?" Everyone played dumb...but no one thought to remove the glass of soda, or the plate where I had been sitting. I was stuck...UG I had to come out of the bathroom, and knew I was so BUSTED, I then slinked into the truck with the ladder racks, and was grounded AGAIN!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Family!!!!
Hey all, (and I hope that there is ALL), I have been thinking about this since I posted a photo of my DD last week. I have since taken the photo down. As much as I would like to share EVERYTHING in my life....It is my life and not my children's.
DD never asked me to remove it (she probably didn't know it was even there)...it really just did not feel right to me. As much as I would love to share my kid's photos, I don't feel that is OK. After all, this is my life(my story) not theirs.
I will be honest..WHICH IS SO IMPORTANT to me. I have chosen not to uses ANY NAMES. I will refer to ppl with general terms.
I will always refer to myself directly.
I know the last few days have been a bit of a downer...I will find a more funny, or uplifting story to post later today.
DD never asked me to remove it (she probably didn't know it was even there)...it really just did not feel right to me. As much as I would love to share my kid's photos, I don't feel that is OK. After all, this is my life(my story) not theirs.
I will be honest..WHICH IS SO IMPORTANT to me. I have chosen not to uses ANY NAMES. I will refer to ppl with general terms.
I will always refer to myself directly.
I know the last few days have been a bit of a downer...I will find a more funny, or uplifting story to post later today.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
FOS Syndrome..ya need to read on.
OMG where do I start? OK so I told you about the whole ovarian cyst party last week. AND that I had had one like 12 years ago... blah blah. Not much you can do... ride it out, take pain meds, and then you are fine. I DID feel better over the weekend, thus the canning, and cleaning, but Monday felt AWFUL AGAIN. Same side but, different. Higher, and in the back. I was thinking, WTF....is it the same, or different? It seemed different, but on the same side.
Of course, all in the midst of trying to deal with DS issues I spoke of yesterday. I MUST preface this by saying I will ALWAS wait to the last moment to go to the Dr. As I did last week. I thought, possibly I had just done too much on Sunday, and Monday's pain was a result of that. It did continue until yesterday...and got worse. As I sd, I HATE the DR. and only go if I feel there is no other option...now I have to go twice in the same week? UG. My DH who always is right that I should have gone a day or two sooner than I do, and who forces me to go....Was VERY worried yesterday, b/c I called him at work and sd come home, and take me to the ER. HE knowing my usual MO was REALLY worried.
I was in sooo much pain I was UBER bitch. I insisted that he just feed and walk the dogs before we go. I asked him to find me an ER that was not "Burlington Hospital"(local)...He sd, we would go to Waukesha Hosp. I was in soo much pain I sd, " AND how did you decide that?" He sd, "It was the next closest." I quipped....." What my medical care is not so much of a concern to you, that you just look for the next closetest
place!?. I also insulted his driving, and pretty much anything else I could.I was very much in pain and unruly. I stated, "TAKE ME TO FREODERT."
We waited in the waiting room at Freodert for OVER 2 1/2 hrs. I had to puke, I JUST wanted to lie down. When we left...there were 7 ppl ahead of me, and probably another 2 hrs.
I sd.."Just take me home.". He sd let's just try Waukesha Hosp." I agreed. We got a room in about an hour...at 9:45pm.
I had explained my pain...explained what I went though on Thurs...explained that although the pain is as much or more intense, but a bit different.
They gave me nausea meds, pain meds, a CT scan. After about 3 hours the VERY comical DR. came back and said..." I have good news, and bad news....Your organs look good, the bad news you and your toilet will become very good friends very soon".
He continued to explain that I was literally "full of shit." Hence the FOS syndrome.
Apparently, last week when I had the cyst burst, it caused "trauma" to my colon which chose not to contract, and do it job moving the goods down the tract...well that in the perfect storm of me being dehydrated, and on pain meds that constipate, all were not a good thing.
So after spending over 2 hrs in one ER, and moving to another...I found that I was so in pain, b/c my colon was ready to explode. I felt like such a dumb ass. The Dr. assured me it was a REAL and REASONABLE pain. He stated that is was a chain effect from the cyst.
I still have to say even though the pain level was somewhere just under child birth, I still felt stupid. The Dr. said, the amount of poop blocked was the size of a baby. I DID believe that...knowing the pain. He said you have no idea, it real, and VERY painful. Somehow, I still felt so stupid.
The cure...well if anyone has had to do a colonosicospy prep....that, Drink a gallon of the poop freeing goo.
Drank the goo...stuff is a flowing, still have a some pain, but it is getting better all the time.
Once again, I guess the dogs will have to wait. I think that has become my sign off.
Of course, all in the midst of trying to deal with DS issues I spoke of yesterday. I MUST preface this by saying I will ALWAS wait to the last moment to go to the Dr. As I did last week. I thought, possibly I had just done too much on Sunday, and Monday's pain was a result of that. It did continue until yesterday...and got worse. As I sd, I HATE the DR. and only go if I feel there is no other option...now I have to go twice in the same week? UG. My DH who always is right that I should have gone a day or two sooner than I do, and who forces me to go....Was VERY worried yesterday, b/c I called him at work and sd come home, and take me to the ER. HE knowing my usual MO was REALLY worried.
I was in sooo much pain I was UBER bitch. I insisted that he just feed and walk the dogs before we go. I asked him to find me an ER that was not "Burlington Hospital"(local)...He sd, we would go to Waukesha Hosp. I was in soo much pain I sd, " AND how did you decide that?" He sd, "It was the next closest." I quipped....." What my medical care is not so much of a concern to you, that you just look for the next closetest
place!?. I also insulted his driving, and pretty much anything else I could.I was very much in pain and unruly. I stated, "TAKE ME TO FREODERT."
We waited in the waiting room at Freodert for OVER 2 1/2 hrs. I had to puke, I JUST wanted to lie down. When we left...there were 7 ppl ahead of me, and probably another 2 hrs.
I sd.."Just take me home.". He sd let's just try Waukesha Hosp." I agreed. We got a room in about an hour...at 9:45pm.
I had explained my pain...explained what I went though on Thurs...explained that although the pain is as much or more intense, but a bit different.
They gave me nausea meds, pain meds, a CT scan. After about 3 hours the VERY comical DR. came back and said..." I have good news, and bad news....Your organs look good, the bad news you and your toilet will become very good friends very soon".
He continued to explain that I was literally "full of shit." Hence the FOS syndrome.
Apparently, last week when I had the cyst burst, it caused "trauma" to my colon which chose not to contract, and do it job moving the goods down the tract...well that in the perfect storm of me being dehydrated, and on pain meds that constipate, all were not a good thing.
So after spending over 2 hrs in one ER, and moving to another...I found that I was so in pain, b/c my colon was ready to explode. I felt like such a dumb ass. The Dr. assured me it was a REAL and REASONABLE pain. He stated that is was a chain effect from the cyst.
I still have to say even though the pain level was somewhere just under child birth, I still felt stupid. The Dr. said, the amount of poop blocked was the size of a baby. I DID believe that...knowing the pain. He said you have no idea, it real, and VERY painful. Somehow, I still felt so stupid.
The cure...well if anyone has had to do a colonosicospy prep....that, Drink a gallon of the poop freeing goo.
Drank the goo...stuff is a flowing, still have a some pain, but it is getting better all the time.
Once again, I guess the dogs will have to wait. I think that has become my sign off.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
