I only wish I could have shit

The last part of this story goes something like this. I was with my DH at the time although, we were not yet married. I was pretty much a drunk, at that time, or at least  really ramping up to being full blown drunk.

It was time for yet another family reunion, to be held around the time of g/ma b-day. My brother was hosting. I still lived out east. Even though, I was on the brink of an emotional breakdown, (which finally happened) I asked," will uncle so-n-so be there?" I was initially told no. So I bought plane tickets, blah blah. I found out about 2 weeks before the party that uncle perv WAS in fact going to be there. Now remember this gathering is at MY brothers home. I called, my brother, and said if HE is going to be there I will not be. I also told my mother this, it was her brother.

My brother said it was, "Not up to him." My mom said, "Oh, get over it already, that was years ago." In my head I thought, "WHAT?!" Thank God I was in therapy. I REALLY could not believe that they thought it was OK for my uncle to be there? Oh wait, it gets worse. This same uncle, my mom's brother, raped his own sister. My mom was the oldest of 8. My aunt that was raped by her brother was the youngest. It happened when she went to babysit for him, he has 8 kids(scary), during college. He did this, in his home, when his wife, and children were there. AND I AM  THE CRAZY ONE? GET OVER IT! REALLY?!

Ya all think, how could that happen? Right? Me too. I do  know how they could be so messed up.
Ya see my g/ma got pregnant with my mom out of wedlock. My great-grand ma told my g/ma to go have the baby, and leave it in an orphanage. My G/ma did not do that. She brought my mom home. Sadly, my Great-grand parents would not let g/ma be with my mom's dad. They made her marry the farmer next door. He was not a good man. He was a drunk, physically, and sexually abusive. I know he abused my aunts. Mom says not her, but I think he did. The brothers saw this man, their father, treat women in that way. They are warped...all of them. I am sure they were told to "SUCK IT UP, AND GET OVER IT."

Because I had already bought the plane tickets, we went. I talked to my therapist almost daily then. Yeah weird right I'm in therapy, and they are not. Go figure. I even amazed my shrink with this story...hard to do.
OK, now I know that douchbag is going to be there, I have the tickets, I decide to go. I did also hold my ground in that I would leave when creepy arrives. So instead of staying the entire weekend, we arrived Friday, and left Saturday. We made other plans..."The Dells."

We got to my brother's early Friday afternoon. My sister-in-law took me up to her bedroom to have a talk.
She told me she had, "no idea" of what had happened to myself or my aunt. She apologized. I think the first ever to do so. She was probably the only sane one at that point. I had been pleading, fighting, lamenting with my family about this subject for weeks. How could she not know before that day? I now know how mental my family is. I for sure know how secrets kill. I guess that is my reason to blog.  You all might find it good reading, but I need to because I want to live.

Anyhow, when he arrived, he was escorted to the back. "They" let me know he was there and my family left through the front door. I was still seething....I was so pissed off. Why HIM over ME?

The next day most of them went golfing...I chose not to go that year. My family went to my brother's for breakfast that morning to see the family that did not golf. We stayed about an hour or so, and then went on to WI Dells for some waterpark fun. It was hot that day...really hot, and humid. I mean like 95 degrees hot.

My Uncle, yeah...that one...he left his car parked outside my brother's house...the windows were open. I guess he had gotten a ride to the golf  course with someone else.  We were almost 30 miles away...the kids in the backseat watching a movie, I was driving. My husband, my WONDERFUL husband, handed me a message that he had typed on his blackberry. It read,"I pissed in your uncle's car, on the seat...I only wished I could have taken a shit."

I was pretty sure I was gonna marry him before that, but that sealed the deal.

FINALLY, someone stood up for me...finally someone took action.

My only regret is that I never REALLY told my dad how much his not standing up for me hurt me. He has advanced altzheimers...he is no longer really there. I wish I would have talked to him sooner.

I am not exactly sure what started me on this tangent. I think it was my mom telling me that all of my parenting is wrong.  Just before my mom, and I had that talk a good friend of mine had to excuse herself from a jury because the case had to deal with a perv, and she knew someone abused. She asked me if I would blog about it. At the time I thought I would, I just didn't think it would be so soon.

Like I said, the words come as they come.