Jail, Jail, Jail, #3

OK, I guess it is time to face the music. This particular blog may be my most difficult to write. Why? You ask? Because, although I knew very well at that time I was a drunk, I couldn't believe, I messed up so badly AGAIN!

I had been sober, with a few slips..but the slips were short lived..a day or two. That is not to diminish the slips. Each one is very important to own up to and recognize. My sponsor, would assign me to go to a meeting the following day, and admit what I had done.

It was January of 2008...almost 2 years to the date, from the last DUI. I was running errands, I had actually JUST left the DMV to renew my license. I was pretty sick that day, I had taken a ton of cold medicine. I also registered for my "Master Gardner" class at the UW-Parkside extension. I had a day where I did slip. I drank. It was an especially bad choice on top of all of the cold medicine.

I had pulled over on the side of the highway. I was parked. It is amazing that I now have 3 DUI's in WI, and in every case, I was never actually driving. I don't know if that is a good, or bad thing...I guess good. The thing is when your keys are in the ignition, you are considered driving. By God's good graces, I am grateful that I was not driving. I should have never been driving. Thank God, I never crashed...thank God I never hurt anyone(physically), Thank God I never hurt myself.

A semi-truck driver, called the police. It was all pretty bad after that. I was a sleep in the front seat when the cop knocked on my window. He wanted me to do a field sobriety test....I was so not able. It was cold, there were cars zooming by, I KNEW I was fucked. I became combative, I was a total bitch to the officer. Sorry officer. That being said, he was not so nice either. I was taken to a weigh station. I have no idea why. Further, paperwork, more tests...blah blah. At one point, the very angry officer tossed me against the wall, and put me in shackles. Some of you know me, some don't. I am not a large person...tall 5'10", and 120lbs.
Not really a need for the wall tossing and shackles. A bit of overkill.

I was then taken to a hospital where I was forced to give my blood for a blood alcohol test. The officer later had to open the package to re-label something. I knew that was a fatal fault in the chain of custody form. It was weird, I knew that I was drunk, I KNEW I was out of line, but I tried to hang on to the fact that the officer messed up.

My DH, and I were to be leaving for Las Vegas for our 1st anniversary in a couple of days. Oh I felt so horrible. I felt like I didn't even deserve to go. I felt so horrible, I physically hurt inside.

I like to my husband, I lied to my children, I lied to all of the few people that knew of the incident. I think they know I lied, but this is the first time I am admitting it out loud. Other than my husband, my kids, my ex-husband, and his wife, my attorney, and the few friends my kids told...no one knew.  I was so ashamed, so disgusted with myself. How can someone, so bright, with so much life experience, do something so incredibly stupid...AGAIN?!

I hired a good DUI attorney. He was expensive, but good. better than the last one. He at least knew that it was only my 2nd DUI, not the 3rd. The attorney I had for the KCDC deal did not address to the court that my violation in NY was under the legal limit. Long story short, my previous DUI was made a 1st, and this became my second. I still knew I was going to jail. The reason why ya hire the attorney is to help with the sentence.

The whole process took about a year. I was sentenced in mid-December of 2008. I was sentenced for 60 days in the Racine County Jail. I asked the judge to PLEASE let me spend the holidays with my family before I reported to jail. He did agree. I did have a condition. I had to wear a "SCRAM" ankle bracelet. It detects, alcohol by perspiration. It was a 4x4 plastic square, about and inch and a half thick.  I had a modem that was plugged into a phone line, that I had to be next to for it to upload information, to a monitoring center twice a day.

It was so crazy...I had a non-alcoholic New Years Eve party planned...It was the 2nd year...a bunch of people from AA came...HUGE party. Probably 60 ppl. I didn't tell any of them that in a couple of days I would be going to jail. The people I should have talked to, I never told. Not even my sponsor.

At that point I hated my disease. I wanted to cut it from my body like a dead limb.I wanted to gnaw it off like an animal who's leg is stuck in a trap. The party went on, I went up to my bedroom at 9:00pm to have my bracelet info uploaded, and then I returned to the party.It was a great party. Great food, great door prizes, the balloon drop went off with out a hitch. I cleaned up the house the next day.  I went shopping for the required undergarments that jail required. On January 3rd, I kissed my children good-bye, and my husband drove me to jail for a second time.

More on this later...I think that is all I have to say tonight.