Ginger is a Beagle mix.She has been with us since she was just a bout a year old. She made it through, my ex husband, and my divorce. I moved out East. She stayed with him for a few years. When ,my husband, and I
moved back..(1/2 mile away from my ex) we took her back. She has always been with one or the other of us her entire life. She has always been with the kids.
She was so protective of them. She would never let anyone in the yard. She watched over them. It was her "job."
Ginger loved to go chipmunk hunting ( I am not so much for killing animals), she rarely caught one...be she loved the hunt.
My ex husband, and I lived on a small lake. One of our neighbors, had a wind surfer. Ginger, in her younger days ALWAYS had to be involved...swam out to hop on the board of the wind surfer with the kids' dad....We laughed...she was a natural.
Ginger tenacious when she needed to be, and so loving when she knew someone needed some love.
I am faced with a REALLY hard choice. I know she is old...super old for a dog...one of the oldest, our vet has ever seen. Her sight is not great, her hearing not so great either, she has some tumors...but they are not painful. Last night, my DD, and I were watching a movie, my DH was at the neighbors...when he came home he yelled for me. I came down to find Ginger convulsing, in her own urine, and poop. She could not stand.
I had to call my ex-husband...it was his dog too. I told him, I was not sure she would make it through the night. He came...I gave him time alone with her.
She was able to stand last night...in the middle of the night. BUT, we have a doggie door onto our deck....My DH found here half in/half out stuck...and again peeing herself.
So how do I play "GOD?" Why can we make this choice for animals?
There have been a ton of tears in this house today. I had my DH carry her to my car. I told him I needed some time alone with her. I bought her a burger at McDonald's (her favorite), we went for a long car ride...also one of her favorites.
How do I make this choice? What gives me the right?
I do believe that, we will put her to sleep tomorrow. I just can't be there. I can't do it.
I am going to borrow a few lyrics from Karen Tylor Good-----
"Here we are it is time to say good-bye--
Pleasant dreams old friend, may your suffering end as you close your eyes and sleep. Pleasant dreams old friend until we meet again, your sweet memories I will keep. I will be loving you, and missing you old friend"
With tears streaming down my face...I think that is all I have to say about that.
3 comments:
I know what you're going through. We had to put our poodle/westhighland terrier mix down 13 years ago. She was 16 at the time, and had suffered from heart disease the last 7 years of her life. With medication, though, she did ok. Then, she got worse, and we nursed her along as best we could. One day, she started "drowning in her own fluids," is how the vet described it, I think. She couldn't breath, and we knew it was time. It was sad, but we know we did the right thing for her. We didn't want her to suffer. Two days later, we came home with an American Eskimo puppy, who has been our "baby" for the past 13 years. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
Thank you for your words Mary. I do so appreciate them.
Your are doing the right think and while it is hard right now - and you will miss her deeply - you can't let the poor thing struggle any longer for either of those to reasons. It is far less selfish to do the humane thing - and far more difficult I admit - but god will be with you and she will sleep peacefully for ever.
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