NO JAM FOR YOU!

Running out the Neighbor!


OK so this is a bit complex, hurtful, and funny at the same time.



I must start this story buy saying that when my hubby and I moved back from out East, we mad a conscience choice to be as close to the kid's dad as we could. Well, when you are in a sleepy town that has NO stoplights... OK maybe 2...the options are limited.



The kids' dad and I had a VERY nice home. DH and I found a really nice home as well.. It was one neighborhood over a few street
It was the TOTAL package, The elite neighborhood in the town...same bus stop as the kids' dad...6 blocks from each other.



(Pre-divorce)There were times, when the kids' dad and I would go for a walk, and had a dream of living there.(HERE) Now I did live there.



We did have good times, not all bad. I need every divorced parent, and child to know it was not all just bad...There were many good times.


My move was not to live in THAT neighborhood, but it was the only option. To be quite honest the ONLY reason I lived so close WAS only for the kids.

At the end of the day it was a choice I made about my children. The main reason was so the kids would be close enough to share a bus stop, and go back n fourth between houses.


Well, I had to tell you that story, to tell ya the next one.

Ok so there is a neighbor...that thinks we don't belong here...we don't drive the right cars(no BMW or Mercedes). The woman was subdivision President for years.


I had been away for a girls weekend. a few years ago....He(DH) went to the subdivision meeting. I SD don't bother...He went, and became the subdivision..Secretary.I sd he would be sorry. Neighborhood politics, crap that is worse that running for Senate. So DH was Secretary for a couple years.


They asked him to be Pres".I sd u did what?" I also sd I will not field any calls, and not deal with ANY of the neighbors' phone calls"...You chose it u deal..... He did not.listen...he accepted. OMG. The bitch that was the former Pres...( first house built) When on to say a couple weeks later... "what a looser his wife was(ME) ..ya know being a dunk and all."(it was worse than that) that was about 2 weeks after he had signed up.


Thank GOD I married someone that had a clue....That is all I will say about that.


My hubby Immediately resigned.



Well the neighbors  wanted to know WHY?....DH sent a letter explaining that NO ONE would talk about his wife/family that way....




Now... our next door neighbor is Pres.( also kind of our adoptive parents)'. The same woman would bitch about out dogs running loose. AND they Don't! I must say on occasion,...when I am taking them for a swim or, to run in the woods they have escaped. But I am RIGHT there and ALWAYS respective of all.

No one else has an issue...



I will also say that there are many dogs in the neighborhood. And that my DH goes once a week and cleans up poop on the general grounds that is so not our dog's...He just does. It doesn't matter who's poop.



So BITCH called the police on me....now this happened to be a day that I was having to deal with my dad's VERY advanced Altz.... I will fully admit to being in bed crying.



That same day she called the cops in Waterford, and gave them a poop in a bag...I guess from her yard. ,and told them to come to my home. Sadly my son knew why I was upset.

Yes, the towns "finest" have nothing better to do then deal with mystery poop....well probably not, but that is besides the point.


My boy answered the door....to be met by "the neighbor, and police" Before she called the police my DS had been at home...and KNEW no one was off the leash or "running around the neighborhood." She had already SCREAMED at DS..



This woman proceeded to tell my son what a LOOSER I was, and to further lambaste me. Oh, and I was the "Town Drunk"... the fact of the mater is I never have drank in town since my ex husband.(around 2000) .It is frustrating that she continues to bitch to my neighbors.



She is right I am a drunk, but am constantly addressing the issue and have been sober for almost a year now. Sadly I was sober for a couple years before that, but messed up....(a story for another day) Not that it is any business of anyone.



This woman went on a blitz, bitching to EVERYONE(in the neighborhood) that I was a drunk, and I had served jail time. AGAIN I live in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in town...not by choice, but by convince.



GREAT! I know I am a drunk, as well , do my children, and husband. Actually not such a big secret...I admit it EVERY DAY


I was VERY pissed...I slept on it for days. I finally told my hubby, and son I need to confront her....The march was on. I walked, up rang her bell, her hubby cane to the door. I asked for HER, I had my hubby , and son behind me like Hench men.



I asked her  what she sd what she did to my son....She never denied it...she told me I was crazy and to "get off of her property."

Even when my son said you sd...blah...she just told me I was "crazy" and to get of her property.


long story longer...in this VERY exclusive neighborhood where I live...with DS, and Hubby behind me, I yelled at the top of my lungs...on a very nice spring/summer day when everyone was outside....," Let me save you the trouble...I AM A DRUNK, I AM A FUCKING DRUNK!....OK so now that we are clear...I think we are done".



She again INSISTED I get of her property.




EVERYONE love us...well we give them veggies, and whatever I can.



OK so now the funny part...we are so not white trash, but what happens next is too funny to me. OK so remember last week when I was making jam, and canning...I had left some fruit on for a bit too long, and trashed a pot....



OK so DH sd take it out of the trash...I could try to power wash it. I fished it out of the trash...it soaked in the garage for about a week.



As DH was power washing the birdcage (blue/gold macaw). I sd, "oh the pan."...so DH the and I attempt the cleaning of the pan


So now we are in a u hold it...no u hold it battle. So he finally holds the pan, as I BLAST him...it was soo funny. Just as DD was pulling in from work, we traded. DD just shot a look...like my parents are dorks. Ok so just imagine this photo....in one of the most "exclusive" neighborhoods in the "throbbing metropolis" of Waterford....My DH is holding the pan that I burned fruit onto....while I have the power washer in hand...in the street...as that happens...the ppl that think the place is going to the slums, happen to drive by in their Mercedes.

Giving us the "low-brow" glare as they happen to pass by.



My response..."No Wonder why They are Moving?"
As DH and I continued to be "low-brow" falling on the driveway laughing.



All I have to say is EVERYONE else got jam, and pickles...."NO JAM 4 YOU!"