Ok so Let's Talk About JAIL

OK so this is so VERY hard for me. I was so stupid, so very stupid.

I am not really sure how to start. It was all so very stupid.

It makes me sad..., and so embarrassed. So, I moved out, because I was engaged. My "roomie", asked, "are you for sure?" I sd "YES". ( YES I had a roommate at 30 while living in NYC) It probably sounds strange to most, but most single ppl in NYC have roommates.

I sd, "for sure." The truth was..I I was not sure. My fiance, was divorced , and then his ex-wife killed herself...overdose.So now there was a boy...at the time around 7.



The child was so needy, he made me feel awkward around my own children...like it was a weird competition.


It was so hard because my kids were flying back and fourth...and then I was "mom" to his kid. There were issues with his child, and my kids. I felt like I would have to ignore my own kids to pay attention to the child with the dead mom.


I don't know exactly what happened or what went on in my brain. I just was not OK with my attention being diverted from my own kids to his.

I think I probably self-sabotaged. I, after a great sales day, I went out for drinks...I "parked" my car on the lawn. That was the end of that relationship.

It felt at times I had to pay more attention to the kid with the dead mom. Then my own kids.


I don't know exactly what happened or what went on in my brain. I just was not OK with my attention being diverted from my own kids to his.

Oh so now I moved back with my roomie...but only for a short time. She and her Hubby bought a condo. It was OK...It gave me a chance to find an apt...and I did in Queens.

Hence the following story...


I guess I will start at the beginning. Well my first DUI was in NYC. It was probably pretty clear at that point that I had an issues with booze. I had just moved out from being a roommate with a very good friend I had lived with for 4 years. She was such an amazing friend, I feel so horrible now for not keeping in touch. There were so many times she helped me in paying for flights back n fourth.I always felt horrible in asking her to help me . She ALWAYS helped. No questions asked. She let me use her car....I am so very grateful. I am so sorry we have lost touch.



Anyhow, When I was visiting her to hang out..I had drank a ton..and then on my way to Queens..were I then lived...my cell phone rang...in trying to grab it..it slipped under my foot...I took out 3 parked cars.


I spent the next 2 days in JAIL. In BROOKLYN... scary as hell...the worst part was, that I so needed to be arranged by Sat night. If ya don't see the judge on Sat...ya won't until Monday. Well Monday, I was supposed to be getting an award for being top sales person for ADT. OUI! Oh the girls in the holding cell were the WORST! Acting up, being jackasses...basically, pissing off the guards...AND the guard threatened if ya don't behave, " you can sit for a few days" I was pissed off and terrified.  Oh and on an aside, I was one of the ONLY "white girls there" packed in like sardines...oh wearing heels, and nice jewelery.....I was so a target. Thank GOD...there was a VERY large black woman that had my back...I don't know why...but she told the rest to leave me alone..."She is not like us. Let her be. " I was grateful at that moment.  And also VERY afraid when she left ahead of me. I was lucky to have a mat....to sleep on...sadly I had the spot that they allowed me was in front of the toilet.

Well that was my first time in jail...I swore I would NEVER be there again...sadly I was mistaken....I think that is good for today.